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Writing Samples
Band 6

Some people say that subjects like arts, music, drama and creative writing are more beneficial to children and therefore they need more of these subjects to be included in the timetable. Do you agree or disagree?

#people #subjects #arts #music #drama #children #timetable
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Many individuals opine that subjects
such
 as drawing,drama and music are fruitful for pupils
due to
this
 they need to add these areas of
study
 to their syllabus.I totally agree with the above statement because
this
 will make a
study
 more interesting and help to identify creative minds.
To begin
 with,the subjects like arts,music and drawing will work in the favour of
students
.First and foremost,it will not only make education compelling but
also
 motivate them to attend regular classes.
For example
,various studies conducted in India revealed that the majority of the
students
 are selecting schools
according to
 the additional courses they are providing to learners.
Moreover
, these areas of
study
 can help to identify creative and talented minds among
students
.
Besides
this
,these courses can help
students
 to follow their passion and make their careers bright.To elaborate,if children start working on their skills
such
 as singing and drawing since childhood,they will become masters in that and shape their future in that direction.
For instance
,one of the Indian singers started singing in a school competition,
therefore
 his teachers approached him to work on that branch and
as a result
, he became an eminent singer in India.
Thus
,the authorities should add these subjects to the timetable.
To conclude
,it is eventually commented that young pupils are the foundation for the future,so the government should include mandatory courses in the school timetables to make
study
 more engaging and for searching talents.
Submitted by pp6859 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure that there is a clear distinction between paragraphs to enhance readability.
task achievement
Be mindful of minor grammatical issues and ensure varied sentence structures.
coherence cohesion
The introduction clearly states the writer's position on the topic.
task achievement
The essay successfully uses examples to support the points made.
coherence cohesion
The conclusion effectively summarizes the main points and reiterates the thesis.
task achievement
The use of specific examples makes the arguments more convincing.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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