It is important for all towns and cities to have large outdoor public spaces such as park. Do you agree or disagree with this statement?

Firstly
,I do agree that people who
lives
Change the verb form
live
show examples
in urban areas should have more outdoor activities. To stay in a healthy life,
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
sports might be
essencial
Correct your spelling
essential
for us to keep the doctors away.
Instead
of doing
exersise
Correct your spelling
exercise
exercises
at home,it is hoped that people can go out and play sports outside. Once we are exposed
in
Change preposition
to
show examples
the air outside the window,we are likely to feel comfortable.We can enjoy the breeze and
greenary
Correct your spelling
greenery
while
we are walking in a park,it is a great way to enhance both our mental and
phisical
Correct your spelling
physical
health.
Besides
that,outdoor spaces in public can
also
please
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
dog
owners.
Due to
the differences between
country side
Correct your spelling
countryside
show examples
and urban
city
Fix the agreement mistake
cities
show examples
,it is quite difficult to walk a
dog
until your
dog
is satisfied in town. A huge non-indoor place in cities can significantly change a
dog
's mood.
However
,
literatlly
Correct your spelling
literally
everything has a downside,spreading the outdoor public area could be a waste of
lands
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land
show examples
,perhaps building a
residental
Correct your spelling
residential
estate is more suitable for people who
are desired
Wrong verb form
desire
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to buy a flat.
To sum up
,outdoor activities can let us improve
whether
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
our corporal and mental health. It can
convenient
Add a missing verb
be convenient
show examples
pet
Change preposition
for pet
show examples
owners as well.
That is
why I strongly
agreed
Wrong verb form
agree
show examples
developed places should have a big area for outdoor social activities.
Submitted by asllchkied on

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coherence cohesion
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coherence cohesion
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To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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