the diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australian towns.

#rainwater #water #australian #towns

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

The graph above shows us the

process

Use synonyms

of collecting the rainwater for drinking

water

Use synonyms

which is used in Australian

town

Fix the agreement mistake

towns

show examples

Overall

Linking Words

it’s visible that the

process

Use synonyms

starts with collecting flowing

water

Use synonyms

and finishes after a big purifying

process

Use synonyms

by adding chemicals into

this

Linking Words

uncleaned

water

Use synonyms

Firstly

Linking Words

the rainwater

is flowing

Wrong verb form

flows

show examples

to the roof what after it goes through

drain

Correct article usage

a drain

show examples

and moves to

Use synonyms

water

Correct article usage

the water

show examples

filter in order to

being

Change the verb

show examples

cleaned, after it accumulates in storage where the all uncleaned

water

Use synonyms

gathered

Add a missing verb

is gathered

show examples

, after

what

Correct word choice

that

show examples

it moves to

water

Use synonyms

treatment with the help of

water

Use synonyms

tube. After a hard and long

process

Use synonyms

, chemicals are

being

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

added to

water

Use synonyms

in order to make it pure and drinkable.

Linking Words

Finally

Add a comma

Finally,

show examples

it goes straight to houses by

water

Use synonyms

tubes in a drinkable and pure condition.

And

Correct word choice

This

show examples

this

Linking Words

the

Change the article

apply

show examples

hard but at the same time useful

process

Use synonyms

of rainwater

being

Verb problem

becoming

show examples

drinkable in Australian towns.

Submitted by muradismailbayli on Fri Feb 23 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Conclusion: The conclusion is too long.

Contractions: Don't use contractions.

▼

Common mistake: Your writing should be 150-250 words.

Vocabulary: Replace the words process, water with synonyms.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "shows" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "undefined" in your introduction.

▼

Vocabulary: Only 3 basic words for charts were used.

▼

Vocabulary: The word "moves" was used 2 times.

▼

Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.

▼

4
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
12
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 8.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Introduction & conclusion present

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 5.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

3 paragraphs

148 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

6.5
band
In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?
These days, technology is developing extremely quickly, and we can send our food products to other districts really fast; as a result, global inhabitants can buy goods from all over the world. In my opinion, this is a positive development because this thing can help migrations to cook their own meals, and people who cannot travel to other regions can taste other areas’ dishes.
5
band
In a number o f countries, some people thin k it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion
Nowadays, people are nomadic, they often move from place to place. In several countries whether its developed or developing countries, society needs the proper accommodation for school, work, holidays etc. Both perspectives spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains or improving existing public transport. Both of them have their own advantages, and I will elaborate those views before presenting my own argument.
5
band
Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so
Education and work experience have a crucial role in academics. While some parents encourage their children to seek part time jobs during their spare time, others are against this notion due to their detrimental effects on children's health. This essay will delve deeper into advantages and disadvantages offered by such inclination.
6.5
band
Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.
Whether governments should allocate funds to enhance railway systems or roads has recently sparked a debate. Prioritising investment in railway infrastructure is paramount, as it offers numerous advantages over roads.
7.5
band
Your friend asked you to find a part-time job for him/her to earn some money while studying. You found a job that might be suitable for him/her. Write a letter to your friend. In your letter give him/her the job description; explain why he/she should take the job; say what he/she should do to get the job.
I’m so glad to hear that you’ve already started your brand-new university life here in Parkville, and I hope you’re doing well. In your last email, you asked me whether there were part-time job opportunities, and I happen to know a local coffee shop that is seeking part-time employees. I’d like to share with you some information about this position.

the diagram shows how rainwater is collected for the use of drinking water in Australian towns.

In many countries nowadays, consumers can go to a supermarket and buy food produced all over the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

In a number o f countries, some people thin k it is necessary to spend large sums of money on constructing new railway lines for very fast trains between cities. Others believe the money should be spent on improving existing public transport. Discuss both these views and give your own opinion

Many children are encouraged by their parents to get a part time job in their free time. What are the advantaged and disadvantages of children doing so

Governments should spend money on railways rather than roads. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your knowledge or experience.