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Writing Samples
Band 5.5

People should only concentrate on a single skill for life because it is the best way to succeed. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #skill #life
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There are divergent opinions about the best way to succeed in life. On the
one
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 hand, concentrating on a single
skill
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 is useful for developing detailed expertise, but
on the other hand
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,
now days
Correct the word
nowadays
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, developing various
skills
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 is more valuable to adapt
in
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to
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 a rapidly changing world. Based on
this
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, I personally believe that having only
one
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skill
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doesn't
Verb problem
isn't
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 enough to succeed anymore, but spending much
time
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 on getting other
skills
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 and
its
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their
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 synergies will follow
to
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apply
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them toward their successful life.
To begin
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 with
that
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apply
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,
people
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 should not waste their lifetime
to concentrate
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concentrating
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 on learning and utilizing only
one
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skill
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. After achieving the
one
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skill
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, they have plenty of
time
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 to get more technics to go ahead to their goals.
For example
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, many old specialists in a field, live without jobs these days.
This
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 is because their major
skills
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 are replaced with new technologies from young
people
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. So, if the old group wants to keep having jobs after retirement, having a new
skill
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 is necessary to do what they want to.
This
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 shows that
people
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 should consider concentrating on getting more
skills
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 for life after retirement for 40-50 years. On top of that, if some
people
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 have just
one
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skill
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, they should learn more and more
skills
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 related to the
one
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 by taking
time
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. The world has been changing, and
people
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 don't recognize how it is running fast and bringing new technologies.
For example
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, traditional farmers have grown plants to supply food ingredients for
people
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 by using modern-
time
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 heavy vehicles.
However
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, recently, scientists have successfully developed new machines with AI technology to detect insects and weeds and destroy them by operating those machines. It will require only
one
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 machine operator to cultivate a spacious farm field.
As a result
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, to achieve successful achievements,
people
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 should acquire more updated or new
skills
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 in
this
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 period.
To sum up
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,
people
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 should spend much
time
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 learning new
skills
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 after mastering
one
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skill
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, and
then
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 studying many
skills
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 related to the
one
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 deeply to succeed. For these reasons, having only
one
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skill
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 is not enough to succeed and learning more
skills
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 is mandatory.
Submitted by lss870311 on

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coherence cohesion
To enhance coherence, ensure your paragraphs follow a logical structure. Start with an introductory sentence, follow with supporting details, and conclude with a summary or a linking sentence to the next paragraph.
coherence cohesion
Utilize a wider range of linking words and cohesive devices to improve the flow of ideas and paragraph transitions.
task achievement
For higher task achievement, enrich your essay with more specific examples and evidence to support your arguments. This adds depth and persuasiveness to your response.
task achievement
Ensure that your essay directly addresses the prompt consistently throughout. While you have covered the topic, make sure that each paragraph ties back to the question more explicitly.
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