IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 6.5

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant

The chart below shows three different crimes and the number of cases committed between 1970 and 2005 in England and Wales. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant
#three #crimes #cases #england #wales #information #features #comparisons
The line graph illustrates the
number
 of
crimes
 that occur in England and Wales in the period
during
Change preposition
from
show examples
 1970 until 2005. As we can see, in general
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
car
 theft is the highest
number
 of
crimes
 that
occurs
Correct subject-verb agreement
occur
show examples
 over
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
time.
According to
 the data, at the beginning of 1970, the
number
 of criminal cases are very low. There was
not
Correct your spelling
no
show examples
 street
robbery
 at all,
while
 the house burgling was about 0,20 million
casess
Correct your spelling
cases
.
In addition
, the
number
 of
car
theft
Fix the agreement mistake
thefts
show examples
 was about twice
than
Correct word choice
that
show examples
the
Change preposition
of the
show examples
 house
burgling
Correct your spelling
burglar
show examples
.
Furthermore
, each
types
Change to a singular noun
type
show examples
 of
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
crimes
Fix the agreement mistake
crime
show examples
were
Wrong verb form
is
show examples
growth
Replace the word
growing
show examples
. If we look at the data,
it is clear that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
street
robbery
 is the
less
Rephrase
least
show examples
occuring
Correct your spelling
common
 criminal. In the year 2005, the reported cases
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 just 0,20 million.
Whereas
, the crime of house burgling
was fluctuated
Change to the active voice
fluctuated
has fluctuated
show examples
 but it still increased by around 0,30 million in 2005.
On the other hand
, it
interesting
Add a missing verb
is interesting
show examples
 to see that the
number
 of
car
robbery
Fix the agreement mistake
robberies
show examples
 reached a peak in 1995. All in all, the
number
 of
crimes
 that occur in England and Wales increased. Especially for the
car
robbery
, the cases
still
Add a missing verb
are still
show examples
 the highest than others.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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Vocabulary: Replace the words number, crimes, car, robbery with synonyms.
▼
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "number of" in your introduction.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "data" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "number of" was used 6 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "increased" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
▼

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