IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 4

Advertisements are influencing us in a negative way, to what extent do you agree or disagree?

#advertisements
Nowadays, media ads
plays
Change the verb form
play
show examples
 an important role in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
society specifically for businesses. Companies are using
advertisement
Fix the agreement mistake
advertisements
show examples
 as a platform for promoting
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the
Change the word
their
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 businesses. Advertisements
giving
Wrong verb form
give
show examples
 us
an information
Remove the article
information
a piece of information
show examples
 about the products and services and benefits to us. So in a nutshell, I personally disagree with the statement that
advertisments
Correct your spelling
advertisements
 influence us
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
negative
Correct article usage
a negative
show examples
 way. It only depends on the type of
advertisment
Correct your spelling
advertisement
 and how
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
people react to the products
being advertise
Change the verb form
being advertised
show examples
.
Submitted by quilisadioanalyn19 on

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Introduction Improvement
Your essay would benefit from a clearer and more structured introduction. Consider clearly stating your opinion on the topic and briefly outlining the reasons or examples you will use to support your viewpoint. This aids in giving the reader a clear understanding of your stance from the beginning.
Developing Main Points
The development of main points can be substantially improved by providing specific examples and explaining how they support your argument. This depth of detail strengthens your essay's persuasive quality and demonstrates a thorough understanding of the topic.
Conclusion Addition
Your essay lacks a conclusion. To effectively wrap up your argument, include a concluding paragraph that summarizes your main points and reiterates your opinion. This provides a clear ending to your discussion and leaves the reader with a strong impression of your stance.
Organizational Structure Improvement
Improve coherence and cohesion by organizing your ideas more logically. You can achieve this by grouping related ideas together and using transitional phrases to link sentences and paragraphs. This will make your essay easier to follow and enhance the flow of your argument.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Intrusive
  • Omnipresent
  • Culture of consumerism
  • Materialism
  • Unrealistic standards
  • Self-esteem
  • Targeting strategies
  • Privacy invasion
  • Psychological manipulation
  • Overexposure
  • Decision fatigue
  • Conscious
  • Informed choices
  • Biased
  • Mislead
  • Critical sectors
  • Repetition
  • Environmental degradation
  • Throwaway culture
  • Non-durable goods
What to do next:
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