IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

For the past year, you have been a member of a local club. Now you want to discontinue your membership. Write a letter to the club secretary. In your letter ● state what type of membership you have and how you have paid for this ● give details of how you have benefited from the club ● explain why you want to leave

#year #member #club #membership #secretary #type
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Dear Sir or Madam, I've been a member since
last
 2017 with the VIP membership with a
full year
Add a hyphen
full-year
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 bill of $134. I am glad and enjoyed those years being a member of the club. All staff and crew are polite and I
was not even face
Change the verb form
did not even face
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 any issues during those years of my tenure. I've
also
 found new friends and family in the club that help
for
Change preposition
in
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 any
aspects
Fix the agreement mistake
aspect
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 of life. My family
are
Verb problem
has
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deciding
Wrong verb form
decided
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 to migrate to
Austalia
Correct your spelling
Australia
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 for
the
Correct article usage
apply
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better opportunities so, I will request
for
Change preposition
apply
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the cancellation of my membership starting on the first week of March 2024 as I can no longer use it here. I am hoping for the success of the club.
Sincerly
Correct your spelling
Sincerely
 yours, Analyn
Submitted by quilisadioanalyn19 on

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coherence cohesion
Ensure the letter is structured with a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should deal with a separate aspect of the request.
greeting and closing
Begin your letter with a more personalized greeting if possible, or maintain the formal tone consistently throughout.
single idea per paragraph
Try to dedicate one paragraph to each point requested by the task. For example, describe your membership and payment details in one paragraph, how you benefited in another, and your reasons for leaving in a third.
complete response
Provide more detailed information about your membership type and how you've paid for it. This will help fulfill the task requirements more completely.
suitable writing tone
Use a consistent and appropriate tone throughout your letter. The tone currently shifts between formal and informal. Choose one based on the context and stick with it.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • polite greeting
  • membership cancellation
  • benefited
  • annual/monthly/family/individual membership
  • credit card/direct debit/cash payment
  • positive experiences
  • social interactions
  • fitness improvements
  • personal reasons
  • financial constraints
  • relocation
  • change in interests
  • gratitude
  • procedure
  • notice period
  • courteous explanation
  • future rejoining
  • sign-off
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