Social interaction between people is destroyed by technology. Do you agree or disagree.

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Recently,
technology
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has developed all around the world. Thanks to
technology
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the lives of individuals have changed in many positive ways.
Althought
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Although
technology
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contribute
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contributes
show examples
to easy life
standart
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standards
and
learn
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learning
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information rapidly, some citizens think that social
interaction
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between
people
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is destroyed by
technology
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. I do not agree with
this
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idea, because in my opinion,
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technology
Replace the word
technological
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developments
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have a
lot
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of upsides and the behaviour of humans
do
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does
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not change by
technology
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.
This
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essay will explain those below.
Firstly
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, technological
developments
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are so
benefical
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beneficial
for the lives of
people
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. Especially,
due to
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these
developments
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,
individuals
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individuals'
individual's
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communication options have sharply increased. Long years ago citizens did not have
chance
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a chance
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to communicate quickly with others. They used to wait numerous days in order
to
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for
show examples
their messages transported
for
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to
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other person
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another person
other people
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.
On the other hand
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, nowadays, If
ones
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one
show examples
want
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wants
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make
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communicate
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communication
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communicate
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with others who
wait
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are waiting for
show examples
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for messages
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messages
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for messages
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other
people
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just use their
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phones
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phone
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phones
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and text messages.
This
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situation
improve
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improves
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social
interaction
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between humans.
Secondly
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, the behaviour of
people
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not
chance
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change
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by
technology
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.
In
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At
show examples
this
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time, despite
of
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apply
show examples
the fact that technological
developments
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happen
everyday
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every day
show examples
, individuals find a
lot
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of
people
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who have social features and their social interactions are so strong. If citizens look
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this
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at this
show examples
issue,
technology
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do
Change the verb form
does
show examples
not have bad impacts on social
interaction
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.
Otherwise
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, thanks to
technology
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, engineers create a
lot
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of new things and these things lead to improvement
social
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in social
show examples
interaction
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. In conclusion, the
technology
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has a
lot
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of advantages for the lives of humans.
Specially
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In particular
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,
technology
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impacts
on
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apply
show examples
communication
with
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apply
show examples
in many
benefical
Correct your spelling
beneficial
ways. Owing to these
developments
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, the
communications
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communication
show examples
of
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with
show examples
people
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is
rapid
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more rapid
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and easy than
previous
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in previous
show examples
times.
Submitted by izzetmiski17 on

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Task Achievement
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Coherence and Cohesion
To improve Coherence and Cohesion, work on organizing your ideas more logically and clearly. Use paragraphs effectively to separate different ideas, and ensure a smooth flow of thoughts by employing linking words or phrases. This will create a structured and easily understandable essay.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • Globalization
  • Digital communication
  • Social dynamics
  • Cyberbullying
  • Synchronous and asynchronous communication
  • Virtual reality
  • Interpersonal skills
  • Digital native
  • Screen time
  • Emotional detachment
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