Some people feel that learning a foreign languageis an essential component of a child's education. Others feel that learning a foreign language is often a waste of time that can be better spent on learning technologyand other vocational subjects. Discuss both views and give your own opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
People are arguing about which one is a critical aspect of the child's education, whether studying foreign
languages
or other vocational
subjects
like technology. In my opinion, both views are beneficial to the
children
,
however
, it depends on their interests and future aspirations.
Children
who are fluent in different foreign
languages
will find it easier to get a job worldwide. Foreign
languages
are needed to work in a multinational company.
For example
, some companies that have multiple branches in China and the US oblige their employee to speak in bilinguals
such
as Mandarin and English. Other than that, with the vast development of remote working, being able to speak in English is compulsory for non-English speakers. Regarding
this
requirement, parents who recognize their child's passion for
languages
and work worldwide will believe it is essential.
Besides
, learning vocational
subjects
will be more practical and faster to land a job. With the rapid development of technology,
as well as
the engineering sector that remains strong, those two
subjects
are always needed by the market.
In addition
, proficiency in those particular sectors is built by practice, which means learning from a young age will give them enough time to be an expert.
For instance
, software engineer experts mostly are people who have been exposed to coding for years, since their school era either by self-learning or with a tutor.
Nevertheless
, I think either learning
languages
or vocational has its own advantages and would be more valuable to the
children
if it could support their dreams. In conclusion, learning foreign
languages
or vocational
subjects
both will bring good values to the
children
.
Moreover
, what parents should be more focused on is the
children
's passion and the future profession that they aspire to be.
Submitted by evaagustine11 on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Try to present a more balanced discussion of both views before giving your opinion. While your essay leans towards highlighting the importance of learning foreign languages, incorporating a more equally weighted argument for vocational subjects would enhance the balance of your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Include a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow of your essay. You've done well in structuring your essay, but utilizing phrases like 'Furthermore,' 'On the other hand,' or 'Conversely' can make transitions smoother.
Task Achievement
To enrich your argument, consider including more varied examples, especially for the vocational subjects part. While the example about software engineering is relevant, adding more examples from different vocational areas could strengthen your point.
Coherence and Cohesion
You've effectively used a clear structure, with a defined introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion, making your essay easy to follow.
Task Achievement
Your introduction and conclusion effectively encapsulate your viewpoint, showing good task achievement.
Task Achievement
The examples you've used, such as the multinational company requiring bilingual employees, effectively support your argument.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: