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In some cultures, children are often told that they can achieve anything if they try hard enough. What are the advantages and disadvantages of giving children this massage?

#cultures #children #massage
It seems that with the passing of time,
children
 have become smarter because they are
technology
Correct article usage
the technology
show examples
 generation and the modern era.
Overall
, some
children
 want to control their own decision and their own
things
,
also
 achieving complicated
things
 to prove their personality. In my opinion, I will tend to agree with
this
 statement and I will first provide some ideas why and
then
 look at some benefits. On the one hand, some people believe that should not be alone when they make their decisions,
however
,
this
 is not a good way to rearing
children
,
nevertheless
, I will say why does affect them
also
 in their future.
Firstly
, when parents let their
children
 make their decisions
subsequently
 they will have a strong personality and no negative person affect their lives,
for instance
,
the
Correct word choice
if the
show examples
 child tells his parents that he wants to do
this
also
, he can say yes or no to anything he wants,
therefore
, he will become aware of right and wrong, unlike a child who does not achieve difficult
things
.
On the other hand
, in today’s society, some parents prefer to know what their kids are doing and they are under their supervision,
therefore
, in the future, some kids can not achieve anything independently,
additionally
, they become unusefulness in their society,
therefore
,
children
 must be made act freely in some matters.
To sum up
, in my view, I see that the
children
 who achieve their difficult
things
also
 learn quickly and have strong personalities.
Submitted by sesjej1330 on

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task achievement
Focus clearly on the task question and make sure to answer both sides of the argument (advantages and disadvantages) directly and clearly.
coherence cohesion
Enhance your essay structure by having a clear introduction that includes your thesis statement, body paragraphs each discussing a single main idea, and a concise conclusion summarizing your arguments.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your arguments in the body paragraphs. This will help to demonstrate the relevance of your points more effectively.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, make sure that your ideas flow logically from one paragraph to another, and use cohesive devices (such as linking words) appropriately to aid in the reader's understanding.
coherence cohesion
Ensure you have a conclusion that summarizes your key points and restates your position in relation to the question asked.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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