In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

There are lots of humans who face the issue of
hunger
despite the improvements in
food
production and farming. I think
this
is because no matter how much
food
we produce, as long as the minimum
walfare
Correct your spelling
wage
remains the same,
people
will continue to face
hunger
problems, and in order to solve
this
, governments of those countries need to
rise
Correct your spelling
raise
show examples
the minimum
wage
they implement.
Hunger
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
show examples
is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
show examples
going down day by day even
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
increases that are being implemented in
food
Add an article
the food
show examples
production industry.
This
is because
majority
Add an article
the majority
a majority
show examples
of the workers work for good salaries, and the
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
show examples
not show data about the
people
who are facing
hunger
. Even in the countries which considered
have
Fix the infinitive
to have
show examples
the highest
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
, the
population
under
hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
show examples
rate
consists of the minority of its citizens because
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
warfare
itself does not
gives
Change the verb form
give
show examples
information about the
population
that cannot buy
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, but it gives information about the
majority
of it. Take France,
for instance
, the
hunger
rate
is increasing every year amongst its citizens, even though it has been considered as the capital of fashion, luxury and high-level lifestyles and despite having
noticable
Correct your spelling
noticeable
lands for agriculture and actually doing well with its farming.
Hence
, I think
walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
itself does not show any information about the actual welfare which considers the minimum life
standart
Correct your spelling
standard
that
people
have. The
food
that we produce in our so-called
well-developted
Correct your spelling
well-developed
farms would not be eaten by
Correct article usage
the poors
show examples
poors
Correct your spelling
poor
if the
governments
Fix the agreement mistake
government
show examples
keeps remaining the same minimum
wage
in nations, especially where the
majority
of the
population
works for the minimum
wage
. In most countries,
people
just cannot pay for their basic needs with the income they have, and as long as they make the same money, they will never be able to buy any of the products that
has
Change the verb form
have
show examples
been produced with the latest technology.
For example
, the
majority
of the
population
works for minimum
wage
in Egypt and the actual
hunger
threshold is around triple that of minimum
wage
, we can easily see the problem of
Correct article usage
the inadiquate
show examples
inadiquate
Correct your spelling
inadequate
minimum
wage
that has been approved by the government about the
hunger
rate
.
To conclude
,
although
we implemented new industrial improvements in our agriculture systems,
people
will continue to suffer from
hunger
if the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
remain
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
minimum wages at the same level.
Submitted by :DDDDD on

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Task Achievement
Clarify your main points by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea that is distinct from the others. This delineation helps in achieving a logical flow. For example, distinguish between the issues of minimum wage versus agriculture advancements clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraph structures to improve the readability of your essay. Use phrases like 'Furthermore', 'For instance', 'Moreover', to better link your ideas.
Task Achievement
Backing up your arguments with more specific examples and data, rather than generalized statements, can significantly enhance your essay. Where possible, include statistics, case studies, or credible sources to support your points.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you address both parts of the question fully. While you have identified the problem, expanding on practical, detailed solutions will help achieve a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors and inconsistencies in verb tense and agreement to improve clarity and professionalism of your writing. Accurate language use is crucial in conveying your message effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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