In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?

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There are lots of humans who face the issue of
hunger
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despite the improvements in
food
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production and farming. I think
this
Linking Words
is because no matter how much
food
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we produce, as long as the minimum
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walfare
Correct your spelling
wage
remains the same,
people
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will continue to face
hunger
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problems, and in order to solve
this
Linking Words
, governments of those countries need to
rise
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raise
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the minimum
wage
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they implement.
Hunger
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Use synonyms
rate
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rates
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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are
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going down day by day even
the
Change preposition
with the
show examples
increases that are being implemented in
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food
Add an article
the food
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production industry.
This
Linking Words
is because
Use synonyms
majority
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the majority
a majority
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of the workers work for good salaries, and the
statictics
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statistics
does
Correct subject-verb agreement
do
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not show data about the
people
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who are facing
hunger
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. Even in the countries which considered
have
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to have
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the highest
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walfare
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welfare
, the
population
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under
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hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
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rate
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consists of the minority of its citizens because
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walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
warfare
itself does not
gives
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give
show examples
information about the
population
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that cannot buy
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
show examples
, but it gives information about the
majority
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of it. Take France,
for instance
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, the
hunger
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rate
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is increasing every year amongst its citizens, even though it has been considered as the capital of fashion, luxury and high-level lifestyles and despite having
noticable
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noticeable
lands for agriculture and actually doing well with its farming.
Hence
Linking Words
, I think
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walfare
Correct your spelling
welfare
itself does not show any information about the actual welfare which considers the minimum life
standart
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standard
that
people
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have. The
food
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that we produce in our so-called
well-developted
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well-developed
farms would not be eaten by
Correct article usage
the poors
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poors
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poor
if the
governments
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government
show examples
keeps remaining the same minimum
wage
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in nations, especially where the
majority
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of the
population
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works for the minimum
wage
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. In most countries,
people
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just cannot pay for their basic needs with the income they have, and as long as they make the same money, they will never be able to buy any of the products that
has
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have
show examples
been produced with the latest technology.
For example
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, the
majority
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of the
population
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works for minimum
wage
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in Egypt and the actual
hunger
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threshold is around triple that of minimum
wage
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, we can easily see the problem of
Correct article usage
the inadiquate
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inadiquate
Correct your spelling
inadequate
minimum
wage
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that has been approved by the government about the
hunger
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rate
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.
To conclude
Linking Words
,
although
Linking Words
we implemented new industrial improvements in our agriculture systems,
people
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will continue to suffer from
hunger
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if the
goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
remain
Verb problem
maintain
show examples
minimum wages at the same level.
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Task Achievement
Clarify your main points by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea that is distinct from the others. This delineation helps in achieving a logical flow. For example, distinguish between the issues of minimum wage versus agriculture advancements clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraph structures to improve the readability of your essay. Use phrases like 'Furthermore', 'For instance', 'Moreover', to better link your ideas.
Task Achievement
Backing up your arguments with more specific examples and data, rather than generalized statements, can significantly enhance your essay. Where possible, include statistics, case studies, or credible sources to support your points.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you address both parts of the question fully. While you have identified the problem, expanding on practical, detailed solutions will help achieve a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors and inconsistencies in verb tense and agreement to improve clarity and professionalism of your writing. Accurate language use is crucial in conveying your message effectively.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • inequality
  • distribution
  • access to resources
  • climate change
  • natural disasters
  • political factors
  • economic factors
  • agricultural practices
  • infrastructure
  • transportation
  • population growth
  • education
  • knowledge
  • food waste
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