In spite of the advances made in agriculture, many people around the world still go hungry. Why is this the case? What can be done about this problem?
There are lots of humans who face the issue of
hunger
despite the improvements in food
production and farming. I think this
is because no matter how much food
we produce, as long as the minimum walfare
remains the same, Correct your spelling
wage
people
will continue to face hunger
problems, and in order to solve this
, governments of those countries need to rise
the minimum Correct your spelling
raise
wage
they implement.
Hunger
rate
Fix the agreement mistake
rates
is
going down day by day even Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
increases that are being implemented in Change preposition
with the
food
production industry. Add an article
the food
This
is because majority
of the workers work for good salaries, and the Add an article
the majority
a majority
statictics
Correct your spelling
statistics
does
not show data about the Correct subject-verb agreement
do
people
who are facing hunger
. Even in the countries which considered have
the highest Fix the infinitive
to have
walfare
, the Correct your spelling
welfare
population
under hunger
Correct article usage
the hunger
rate
consists of the minority of its citizens because walfare
itself does not Correct your spelling
welfare
warfare
gives
information about the Change the verb form
give
population
that cannot buy foods
, but it gives information about the Fix the agreement mistake
food
majority
of it. Take France, for instance
, the hunger
rate
is increasing every year amongst its citizens, even though it has been considered as the capital of fashion, luxury and high-level lifestyles and despite having noticable
lands for agriculture and actually doing well with its farming. Correct your spelling
noticeable
Hence
, I think walfare
itself does not show any information about the actual welfare which considers the minimum life Correct your spelling
welfare
standart
that Correct your spelling
standard
people
have.
The food
that we produce in our so-called well-developted
farms would not be eaten by Correct your spelling
well-developed
Correct article usage
the poors
poors
if the Correct your spelling
poor
governments
keeps remaining the same minimum Fix the agreement mistake
government
wage
in nations, especially where the majority
of the population
works for the minimum wage
. In most countries, people
just cannot pay for their basic needs with the income they have, and as long as they make the same money, they will never be able to buy any of the products that has
been produced with the latest technology. Change the verb form
have
For example
, the majority
of the population
works for minimum wage
in Egypt and the actual hunger
threshold is around triple that of minimum wage
, we can easily see the problem of Correct article usage
the inadiquate
inadiquate
minimum Correct your spelling
inadequate
wage
that has been approved by the government about the hunger
rate
.
To conclude
, although
we implemented new industrial improvements in our agriculture systems, people
will continue to suffer from hunger
if the goverments
Correct your spelling
governments
government
remain
minimum wages at the same level.Verb problem
maintain
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Task Achievement
Clarify your main points by ensuring each paragraph has a clear central idea that is distinct from the others. This delineation helps in achieving a logical flow. For example, distinguish between the issues of minimum wage versus agriculture advancements clearly.
Coherence and Cohesion
Utilize a wider range of cohesive devices and paragraph structures to improve the readability of your essay. Use phrases like 'Furthermore', 'For instance', 'Moreover', to better link your ideas.
Task Achievement
Backing up your arguments with more specific examples and data, rather than generalized statements, can significantly enhance your essay. Where possible, include statistics, case studies, or credible sources to support your points.
Task Achievement
Ensure that you address both parts of the question fully. While you have identified the problem, expanding on practical, detailed solutions will help achieve a more complete response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Review and correct grammatical errors and inconsistencies in verb tense and agreement to improve clarity and professionalism of your writing. Accurate language use is crucial in conveying your message effectively.
Fully explain your ideas
To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).
For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:
- Paragraph 1 - Introduction
- Sentence 1 - Background statement
- Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
- Sentence 3 - Thesis
- Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
- Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
- Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
- Sentence 2 - Example
- Sentence 3 - Discussion
- Sentence 4 - Conclusion
- Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
- Sentence 1 - Summary
- Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
- Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation
Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.