You are having a graduation party next Saturday night. You have invited 50 people to celebrate at an outdoor barbecue evening, which may continue till late night. Write a letter to your elderly neighbour. In your letter: explain what will be happening offer your apologies in advance invite him/her to visit your house someday

#graduation #party #saturday #night #people #barbecue #neighbour #offer #apologies #advance #visit #house

Dear neighbour, I am writing to apologize for I am having a graduation

party

with my classmates at our home after a week. I

Unnecessary verb

apply

show examples

sincerely

Change the word

sincere

show examples

and I regret that I know you do not like noise but our teacher chose my house for

party

Correct article usage

a party

show examples

Add the comma(s)

, therefore,

show examples

therefore

I did not say anything because my teacher

Wrong verb form

was

show examples

really angry. I have invented

approximetely

Correct your spelling

approximately

50 and

party

Correct article usage

the party

show examples

may continue till night. We planned what

happen

Wrong verb form

happened

show examples

at the

party

. I think

this

party

will

bring

Verb problem

cause

show examples

some inconvenience to many of our

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

. We are going to have a barbecue

party

in the evening and before

that

Add a comma

that,

show examples

we want to do karaoke and we

also

want to organize

Correct article usage

a dances

show examples

dances

Change the noun form

dance

show examples

competition. I apologize in advance for

this

. On

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

second

thoughts

Add a comma

thoughts,

show examples

you are the oldest among our

neighbors

Change the spelling

neighbours

show examples

thus

my mother

give

Change the verb form

gives

show examples

advice to me which I will write to you

apology

Correct article usage

an apology

show examples

letter.I promise you we will you to our house

oneday

Correct your spelling

one day

and we have dinner together.

Your

Correct the word

Yours

show examples

sincerely, Baxshandabonu

Submitted by ina1_95 on Fri Feb 23 2024

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Coherence & Cohesion

Make sure your letter includes a clear introduction, body, and conclusion. Introduce the topic in the first paragraph, discuss details in the middle paragraphs, and conclude appropriately. The letter's structure was somewhat confusing.

Coherence & Cohesion

Use paragraphs to separate different ideas or parts of your message. Each paragraph should have a single clear idea, which wasn't always the case in your letter.

Coherence & Cohesion

Your letter should always start with an appropriate greeting (e.g., 'Dear [Name],') and end with a closing (e.g., 'Yours sincerely, [Your Name]'). Your closing was informal; striving for a more formal sign-off could improve tone consistency.

Task Achievement

Ensure you carefully read the task instructions. Your letter should clearly explain what will be happening, offer apologies, and extend an invitation. While you touched upon these, the explanations and invitations could be clearer and more direct.

Task Achievement

Maintain a suitable tone throughout the letter. The tone fluctuated and sometimes felt informal for writing to an elderly neighbor. Aim for a consistently respectful and formal tone.

Use a variety of complex and simple sentences

You should use complex sentences in your writing, but it does not mean that you should try to make all of our sentences complex.

‘Complex’ sentences are not actually very complex; they are just two or more simple sentences put together. Putting them together makes the essay more coherent and cohesive.

Examples:

I really want to study but I’m too tired.

I wore a warm coat because the weather was cold.

If action is not taken soon on climate change, global warming will get worse.

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
1Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
20Grammar mistakes
 

7 paragraphs

164 words

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 5.0

Logical structure

Single idea per paragraph

Greeting and closing

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Suitable writing tone

Appropriate word count

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