Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

#people #money #space #exploration

Nowadays, governments and billionaires across the

world

allocated

Wrong verb form

allocate

show examples

considerable

Add an article

a considerable

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amount

Fix the agreement mistake

amounts

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of their resources to reach for the stars, aiming to shed some

lights

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light

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on the mystery

surroundoing

Correct your spelling

surrounding

the

space

above us.

However

, I consider myself as an opposition to those

space

exploration

missions as the resource can be allocated to resolve a more grounded, yet relevant problem for our civilization. Ever since the

cold war

Correct your spelling

Cold War

show examples

, various countries have been

obssesed

Correct your spelling

obsessed

with

space

exploration

, thinking of it as a race against other countries.

This

ambitious dream

are

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show examples

backed by the significant share of the

country

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country's

show examples

budget

allocated for the research and development of the aircraft. In most cases, the

budget

dwarved

Correct your spelling

dwarfs

the

budget

for

poverty

alleviation purposes.

For example

, the total funding for country A's

space

exploration

program

are

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show examples

way beyond the gathered money to cure malaria disease in rural

africa

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Africa

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. The question lingers, are we as a

civillization

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civilisation

has

Verb problem

apply

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collectively

decide

Wrong verb form

deciding

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that the life of those living under

poverty

to be

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less relevant and important compared to exploring beyond earth? I agree that there are numerous spending options that are more justifiable and beneficial for society than

to spend

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spending

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space

exploration

Eversince

Correct your spelling

Ever since

the

cold war

Correct your spelling

Cold War

show examples

1960's

Correct article usage

the 1960's

show examples

, the

world

poverty

rate

have

Change the verb form

has

show examples

worsen

Change the verb form

worsened

show examples

over the years.

This

poverty

proved to provide an obstacle to those living under it, having no capacity to push beyond the boundaries and have to live on scarcity.

A national

Remove the article

National

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funding used to alleviate

poverty

are

Correct subject-verb agreement

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proven to be effective, and I am a proponent of using

space

exploration

money to finance these types of funding.

For example

, providing free bed nets can reduce malaria disease

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

often kills poor people. Using

space

Correct article usage

the space

show examples

exploration

budget

, the

world

can finance more of these

type

Fix the agreement mistake

types

show examples

helps

Correct subject-verb agreement

help

show examples

for the poor people. In time, it can help

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

make the

world

a better place.

To conclude

, I agree that

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

space

are

Change the verb form

show examples

interesing

Correct your spelling

interesting

object to explore.

However

, to prioritize it over helping those in

needs

Fix the agreement mistake

need

show examples

does not provide benefits to our society as a whole.

Submitted by satimanb on Sat Feb 24 2024

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Task response

To improve your score in 'task response', consider including more specific examples and statistics to support your argument. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.

Coherence and cohesion

For 'coherence and cohesion', ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. While your essay is generally well-structured, using clearer transition phrases can enhance readability and the overall flow of your argument.

Task response

To enhance 'task response', try to explore the counter-argument in a brief manner. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic and can make your argument more balanced.

Coherence and cohesion

In 'coherence and cohesion', be attentive to minor grammatical errors and insist on variety in sentence structure to enhance fluency and coherence.

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Linking words are very important in your essay.

To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.

Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.

In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.

Linking word examples:

firstly
secondly
thirdly
in additional
moreover
also
for example
for instance
therefore
however
although
even though
despite

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4Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
33Grammar mistakes
 

4 paragraphs

338 words

5.00

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

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Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately

Countries are becoming more and more similliar because are able to by the same products anywhere in the world. Do you think this is a positive or negative development?

You recently booked a part-time course at a college. You now need to cancel your booking. Write a letter to the college administrator. In your letter: say which part-time course you booked explain why you need to cancel your booking ask about booking a different course

An increasing number of professionals, such as doctors and teachers are leaving their own poorer countries to work in developed countries, What problems does this cause? What can be done to deal with this situation?

It is more important for a building to serve a purpose than to look beautiful. Architects should not worry about producing building as a work of art. Do you agree or disagree ?

Central and local governments make a frantic attempt to promote festivals to create a lot of revenue. Some people think this money should be invested in social programmes for the poor. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement? Give reasons for your answer.