Some people believe that money spent on space exploration is not justifiable. There are more beneficial ways to spend this money. To what extent do you agree or disagree?
Nowadays, governments and billionaires across the
world
allocated
Wrong verb form
allocate
considerable
Add an article
a considerable
amount
of their resources to reach for the stars, aiming to shed some Fix the agreement mistake
amounts
lights
on the mystery Fix the agreement mistake
light
surroundoing
the Correct your spelling
surrounding
space
above us. However
, I consider myself as an opposition to those space
exploration
missions as the resource can be allocated to resolve a more grounded, yet relevant problem for our civilization.
Ever since the cold war
, various countries have been Correct your spelling
Cold War
obssesed
with Correct your spelling
obsessed
space
exploration
, thinking of it as a race against other countries. This
ambitious dream are
backed by the significant share of the Change the verb form
is
country
Change noun form
country's
budget
allocated for the research and development of the aircraft. In most cases, the budget
dwarved
the Correct your spelling
dwarfs
budget
for poverty
alleviation purposes. For example
, the total funding for country A's space
exploration
program are
way beyond the gathered money to cure malaria disease in rural Change the verb form
is
africa
. The question lingers, are we as a Change the capitalization
Africa
civillization
Correct your spelling
civilisation
has
collectively Verb problem
apply
decide
that the life of those living under Wrong verb form
deciding
poverty
to be
less relevant and important compared to exploring beyond earth?
I agree that there are numerous spending options that are more justifiable and beneficial for society than Change the verb form
is
to spend
on Change the verb form
spending
space
exploration
. Eversince
the Correct your spelling
Ever since
cold war
in Correct your spelling
Cold War
1960's
, the Correct article usage
the 1960's
world
poverty
rate have
Change the verb form
has
worsen
over the years. Change the verb form
worsened
This
poverty
proved to provide an obstacle to those living under it, having no capacity to push beyond the boundaries and have to live on scarcity. A national
funding used to alleviate Remove the article
National
poverty
are
proven to be effective, and I am a proponent of using Correct subject-verb agreement
is
space
exploration
money to finance these types of funding. For example
, providing free bed nets can reduce malaria disease that
often kills poor people. Using Correct pronoun usage
which
space
Correct article usage
the space
exploration
budget
, the world
can finance more of these type
of Fix the agreement mistake
types
helps
for the poor people. In time, it can help Correct subject-verb agreement
help
the
make the Correct article usage
apply
world
a better place.
To conclude
, I agree that the
Correct article usage
apply
space
are
an Change the verb form
is
interesing
object to explore. Correct your spelling
interesting
However
, to prioritize it over helping those in needs
does not provide benefits to our society as a whole.Fix the agreement mistake
need
Submitted by satimanb on
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Task response
To improve your score in 'task response', consider including more specific examples and statistics to support your argument. This will make your argument stronger and more persuasive.
Coherence and cohesion
For 'coherence and cohesion', ensure that each paragraph flows logically into the next. While your essay is generally well-structured, using clearer transition phrases can enhance readability and the overall flow of your argument.
Task response
To enhance 'task response', try to explore the counter-argument in a brief manner. This will show a comprehensive understanding of the topic and can make your argument more balanced.
Coherence and cohesion
In 'coherence and cohesion', be attentive to minor grammatical errors and insist on variety in sentence structure to enhance fluency and coherence.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite
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