IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

All cars that burn fossil fuels should be banned, and electric cars should replace them. Do you agre or disagree?

#cars #fuels #agre
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It is thought by many that all
cars
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 that use fossil
fuels
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 ought to be prohibited and replaced by electric
cars
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. In my opinion, I disagree with
such
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 a view because there are alternative eco-friendly
fuels
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 for combustion engines, and regular
cars
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 are
also
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 better for nature in terms of production and recycling.
Firstly
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, replacing fossil
fuels
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 with biological alternatives means that the usual
cars
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 that everyone is used to can be driven without harming the atmosphere. The proportion of
cars
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 powered by combustion engines compared to electric
cars
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 is incomparable from a global perspective, and it would certainly be easier and faster to replace gasoline with biofuels rather than forcing billions of people to buy electric
cars
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 that not everyone can afford.
Moreover
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, almost all devices on civil
cars
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 were developed in the racing industry, and it is possible to foresee the change of
fuels
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 transferred to road vehicles.
For instance
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, all modern racing
cars
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 work on "E"
fuels
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, which contain sustainable ethanol that provides a massive energy output
while
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 having up to 90% less green gases.
Secondly
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, electric
cars
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, despite their ecological benefits, are extremely hard to produce and recycle, which,
at the end
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 of the day, makes their efficiency questionable. It is not a secret that lithium batteries have vital ecological flaws in terms of their production, recycling, and general safety.
For example
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, if an electric car is destroyed in an accident
instead
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 of being precisely parted and recycled, the chemicals used in the power unit and battery are so toxic that pollution has a devastating effect on the ecology, which cannot be taken lightly.
To conclude
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, I would argue that fossil fuel
cars
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 should be banned and replaced by electric alternatives
due to
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 the ability to use biofuels for combustion engines and a major design flaw of electric
cars
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 that makes them dangerous not only for the environment but
also
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 for their owners.
Submitted by s_syedy on

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Coherence & Cohesion
Work on creating a more logical structure to your essay by ensuring your paragraphs flow seamlessly from one to the next. Consider using linking phrases such as "Furthermore," "In addition to," or "However," to make transitions more natural.
Coherence & Cohesion
Ensure your introduction and conclusion are clearly defined. The introduction should present the topic and your opinion clearly, while the conclusion should summarize your main points and reiterate your stance without adding new information.
Coherence & Cohesion
Support your main points with more detailed examples or citations. This could involve referencing studies, providing statistical data, or drawing from specific real-world scenarios that further illustrate your point.
Task Achievement
To fully address the task, make sure to cover all parts of the prompt in depth. This includes stating your position clearly, providing a balanced discussion of your viewpoint, and ensuring your ideas are directly relevant to the prompt.
Task Achievement
Aim for clarity and comprehensiveness in your ideas. This means making sure each paragraph contains a clear main idea and that these ideas collectively address the prompt effectively. Avoid straying from the topic or including unrelated details.
Task Achievement
Incorporate a variety of specific examples to support your arguments. Examples can help illustrate your point more vividly and make your essay more convincing. Ensure these examples are directly relevant to the points you're making.
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