Some educationalist think that international exchange visit will benefit teenagers at the school. To what extent do advantages outweight the disadvantages.

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In
this
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contemporary era, studies in
abrove
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above

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are become
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become
have become

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extremely ordinary since the transportation facilities advance. Some academic experts believe that
internationak
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international

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students
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students'
student's

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transaction
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transactions

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is
Unnecessary verb
apply

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can
incentive
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incentivise

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pupil's
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pupils'

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socially
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social

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and
academically
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academic

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progresses
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progress

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. In my point of view,
these kind
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this kind
these kinds

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of support can
gain
Verb problem
have

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the
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a

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positive impact
for
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on

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the adolescent's
portential
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potential

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of
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for

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development.
Thus
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

i
Change the capitalization
I

The pronoun I should always be capitalized.

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think
comparison
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in comparison

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to the
drawback
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drawbacks

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there
have
Verb problem
are

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more advantages. On the one hand, in
this
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modernized era
the
Correct article usage
apply

It seems that there is an article usage problem here.

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developed countries frequently invite other countries students to visit which is called
educational
Add an article
an educational

The noun phrase educational tour seems to be missing a determiner before it. Consider adding an article.

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tour.
For example
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, through
of
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apply

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these
programs
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programs,

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the large
proportions
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proportion

It seems that proportions may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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of parents are utilized
this
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opportunity
sent
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to send

Sent doesn’t seem to work here.

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their
childrens
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children

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to
engaging
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engage

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with foreign school's curriculums,
training
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train

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their life
skill
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skills

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and cultivate their
self reliance
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self-reliance

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abilities, and can stimulate children's potential to
found
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find

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thier
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their

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interest.
On the other hand
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, in
these
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this

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way
pupil
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pupils

It seems that pupil may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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also
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

can
Verb problem
apply

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adapt and accept the diverse
culture
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cultures

It seems that culture may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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which
regonized
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recognise

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cultural diversity.
Let
Verb problem
Getting

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the
Correct article usage
apply

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childrens
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children

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understand
Fix the infinitive
to understand

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the world early is totally can assist them to be successful
compare
Wrong verb form
compared

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with
the
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their

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peers with lifelong learning
skill
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skills

It seems that skill may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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.
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Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

However
Add a comma
However,

It appears that you are missing a comma after the introductory phrase However. Consider adding a comma.

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living under
the
Correct article usage
apply

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differents
Correct your spelling
different

The word differents doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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cultural circumstances can grow the children's creative thinking and inclusive
personality
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personalities

It seems that personality may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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to
Add a missing verb
be paitient
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paitient
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patient

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on the every things
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with everything

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.
Consequently
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, it can
intense
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intensify

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their
intriguing
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intrigue

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to
further
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explore things and keep going on. In conclusion, even though exchange
the
Correct article usage
apply

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students countries to
countires
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country

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is
Correct subject-verb agreement
are

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common in
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

era but
remainly
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is

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have abundance of
benefit
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benefits

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for teenagers
evolving
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in evolving

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their future and development.
Submitted by haixiuxiaonini on

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Task Achievement
Focus on directly answering the question posed in the prompt. Be sure to discuss both advantages and disadvantages before rendering your opinion on whether the advantages outweigh the disadvantages.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. Each paragraph should have a central idea that is elaborated upon with examples or further explanation.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical flow of your essay by using transition words and phrases to connect paragraphs and sentences. This makes it easier for the reader to follow your argument.
Task Achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. General statements are less convincing than detailed, relevant examples that illustrate your claims.
Task Achievement
Check your essay for grammatical errors and typos. This includes spelling, punctuation, and sentence structure. Avoid lengthy, run-on sentences, and aim for clarity and precision in your writing.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Educationalist
  • International exchange visit
  • Intercultural understanding
  • Language acquisition
  • Personal growth
  • Global awareness
  • International relationships
  • Culture shock
  • Global citizens
  • Support systems
  • Inclusive
  • Scholarships
  • Cultural differences
  • Homesickness
  • Educational institutions
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