People today often use the internet to learn about the culture of other countries. This means that it is not that important to travel to those countries. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Nowadays,
people
are using the
internet
to explore and learn more about other country’s cultures and heritages.
This
means that they don’t need to travel around the world to get knowledge and I totally agree that
this
option is crucial for some particular reasons,
such
as saving the public
money
and
time
.
This
essay will explain in detail about those ways.
To begin
with,
people
really like to enjoy going overseas
searching
Wrong verb form
to search
show examples
for new literature in some countries, but other options are available,
such
as the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
that can help society to save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
money
. Travelling around the world means that someone needs to prepare their own budget to buy a flight ticket and private accommodation
while
staying for a
couple
Add the preposition
couple of
show examples
days in some regions.
Otherwise
, the
internet
makes it easy for someone to access abundant information about a nation's culture without wasting
money
.
For example
, Indonesian
people
use
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
instagram
Change the capitalization
Instagram
show examples
to learn about Korean cultures
On the other hand
, someone can
also
save
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
time
once using
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
internet
technology.
People
have different tasks and activities
everyday
Replace the word
every day
show examples
, so their
time
is insufficient if they choose to
have
Verb problem
take
show examples
a trip. Eventually, they consider using the
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
when they want to do individual tasks.
For example
, an Indonesian student frequently searches the history of European islands through the
internet
as part of their final assignment, so they do not need to travel to get the answer. In conclusion,
internet
utilization is really important to help us gain a lot of
nation
Replace the word
national
show examples
culture without losing our
time
and
money
.
This
is happening because the
internet
is very easy to access by anyone who is interested in learning new knowledge.
Submitted by ru.kabiru.biru on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
A strong response clearly answers the question with a nuanced position that is supported throughout the essay. Consider adding more detailed arguments that fully explore both sides of the argument to enhance Task Achievement.
Introduction & Conclusion
To improve your score, ensure your introduction and conclusion are more comprehensive. Clearly state your position in the introduction and summarise your main points effectively in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Increase the variety of linking words and phrases you use to connect ideas more smoothly, which will improve the flow of your essay and help with Coherence and Cohesion.
Task Achievement
To strengthen your essay, incorporate a wider range of specific examples and detailed explanations for each point. This will make your support more convincing and improve Task Achievement.
Grammar & Accuracy
Check for and correct minor grammatical errors and ensure that verb tense is consistent throughout your essay. This will improve the overall readability and professionalism of your response.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • cultural immersion
  • virtual tours
  • biases
  • authenticity
  • cuisine
  • perpetuate
  • sustainable tourism
  • misinterpretations
  • personal relationships
  • language acquisition
  • social media platforms
  • information accessibility
What to do next:
Look at other essays: