The bar chart illustrates the amount of hours that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists used per day to do 3 activities

The bar chart illustrates the amount of hours that Chinese, American, Turkish and Brazilian tourists used per day to do 3 activities
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar graph shows the quantity of
time
Use synonyms
that four ethnic
group
Fix the agreement mistake
groups
show examples
of
tourists
Use synonyms
spent per day
to do
Change the verb form
doing
show examples
three leisure activities.
Overall
Linking Words
, the amount of
hours
Use synonyms
that
Chinese
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
reading books was significantly higher than other groups, and they less frequently used their
time
Use synonyms
to visit places.
Linking Words
While
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
American and Turkish
tourists
Use synonyms
allocate their leisure
time
Use synonyms
more balanced than Brazilian
tourists
Use synonyms
that
Correct pronoun usage
who
show examples
used
Wrong verb form
use
show examples
their spare
time
Use synonyms
mostly at the beach. In terms of reading books, the volume of
hours
Use synonyms
that
Chinese
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
per day on
this
Linking Words
particular occation is 8
hours
Use synonyms
which is dominantly higher than other groups. The remaining groups used four to five
hours
Use synonyms
of their spare
time
Use synonyms
on
this
Linking Words
activity. The
quantity
Change the quantifier
number
show examples
of
hours
Use synonyms
that
Chinese
Use synonyms
visitors spent
on
Change preposition
apply
show examples
visiting places was the lowest with one hour per day compared to their counterparts. The amount of
hours
Use synonyms
that Brazilian
tourists
Use synonyms
spent
Wrong verb form
spend
show examples
at the beach during their leisure
time
Use synonyms
is 6
hours
Use synonyms
and
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
these
show examples
amounts are 5, 4, and 3
hours
Use synonyms
for Turkish, American, and
Chinese
Use synonyms
tourists
Use synonyms
respectively.
Submitted by historicalpen on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Vocabulary: Replace the words time, tourists, hours, chinese with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 3 times.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: