IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The given chart provides information about the weekly outcomes of families in 1968 and 2018.

The given chart provides information about the weekly outcomes of families in 1968 and 2018.
#information #outcomes #families
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The bar chart compares the allocation of
families
Use synonyms
' weekly incomes to various types of
expenditure
Use synonyms
 between 1968 and 2018.
Overall
Linking Words
,
families
Use synonyms
shift
Wrong verb form
shifted
show examples
 their lion's share of
Use synonyms
outcome
Fix the agreement mistake
outcomes
show examples
 from food in 1968, to leisure activities in 2018. In the baseline year,
families
Use synonyms
' food expenses constitute
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
35% of their
overall
Linking Words
outcome
Use synonyms
,
dwarving
Correct your spelling
dwarfing
 the other
expenditure
Use synonyms
 brackets by a
signficant
Correct your spelling
significant
 margin.
Moreover
Linking Words
,
expense
Add an article
the expense
show examples
 for
housingis
Correct your spelling
housing is
housing
 only
mere
Correct article usage
a mere
show examples
 10% of the total
outcome
Use synonyms
,
this
Linking Words
 differs greatly from households in 2018 that
allocate
Wrong verb form
allocated
show examples
 a near 20% of the
outcome
Use synonyms
 only for housing.
Moreover
Linking Words
, other types of
expenditure
Use synonyms
are
Wrong verb form
were
show examples
 not significant to
Add an article
the household
a household
show examples
household
Fix the agreement mistake
households
show examples
 in 1968, counting to less than 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 of the total
oucome
Correct your spelling
income
, each. The consumption pattern drastically
changes
Wrong verb form
changed
show examples
 in 2018.
Families
Use synonyms
are incline
Change the verb form
are inclined
show examples
 to do various leisure activities, consuming almost 25% of their money.
Expenditure
Use synonyms
 on housing
also
Linking Words
increase
Wrong verb form
increased
show examples
 in 2018 to almost 20%. Other expenditures
also
Linking Words
 saw changes over the year, albeit marginally.
Submitted by satimanb on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "also, moreover, overall".
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Vocabulary: Replace the words families, expenditure, outcome with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "changes" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "almost" was used 2 times.
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