IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4.5

the diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electric. summmaries the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the diagram below shows the process of using water to produce electric. summmaries the information be selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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the given drawing gives an idea of how electrical
power
Use synonyms
 is generated with the help of rain flow. looking from an
overall
Linking Words
 perspective, the entire method of generating
power
Use synonyms
 supplies contains seven steps. beginning with the rays of the sun and ending with the generation of electrical
power
Use synonyms
 supplies for hospitals and schools. in the first step, seawater absorbs hot sun rays
then
Linking Words
 the rain
vapor
Change the spelling
vapour
show examples
 converts into clouds and they downpour as rain into the dam.
afterward
Change the spelling
afterwards
show examples
, the valve
that is
Linking Words
 located at the bottom of the dam is open which
results
Add the preposition
results in
results from
show examples
 a saliva flow pressure causing the turbine immediately start to rotate producing high voltage electricity
power
Use synonyms
 and at the same time the residual rainwater return back to the reservoir through a tube by the force pumped in order to recycle the aqua and
furthter
Correct your spelling
further
 use. the final step, underground cables distribute
this
Linking Words
 energy to different areas,
such
Linking Words
 as hospitals, schools , houses and factories. in short, it is a long and expensive process
Correct your spelling
because
bacause
Correct your spelling
because
 lots of resources are required

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Introduction: The introduction is missing.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Basic structure: Use less body paragraphs.
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Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the fifth paragraph.
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Basic structure: Change the sixth paragraph.
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Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words power with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 1 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "give" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fifth paragraph.
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Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the sixth paragraph.
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