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Writing Samples
Band 7

Many people try to achieve success through their career or education. What can success mean to different people? What is your view of success?

#people #success #career #education
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These days in a globalized world, when we talk about "
success
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", a word that has a dozen meanings for every
person
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. Some argue that a bunch of people are eager to reach their
success
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 with two options, career or education.
To begin
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 with, many people believe if you achieve an executive level in your
job
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 it could mean that you have already become a successful
person
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.
This
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 point of view came up because when you already have a high-salary
job
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,
then
Linking Words
 you can provide your family happiness.
For example
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, my friend, his name is Adho. He is married with two young toddlers and has an average salary. He could not buy any toys if his children asked him for them, because the money was only possible to use for monthly expenditures.
As a result
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, he worked harder every day with the purpose of reaching a high level on his
job
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, so
thus
Linking Words
 he could make his family happier. That’s his definition of
success
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.
Secondly
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, another point of view is the higher degrees that you have achieved, it proves that you are a smart
person
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,
then
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 you could get a
job
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 easily. As an example, after my husband graduated with his master's degree, there were a lot of companies offering him a spot even though he
was
Verb problem
had
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 not proposed. In my opinion, we cannot define
success
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 only by looking from one side, either career or education. The definition of
success
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 is different for every
person
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, depending on their background and environment.
Submitted by anjanadmr on

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task achievement
Try to clearly state your thesis statement in the introduction to present a clear standpoint which will be elaborated on in the essay.
coherence and cohesion
Develop each main idea in separate paragraphs to ensure clarity and focus. Use topic sentences at the beginning of each paragraph.
coherence and cohesion
Try to use a wider range of linking words and phrases to better connect your ideas and make your argument flow more naturally.
task achievement
Offer a more distinct conclusion that summarizes your main points and restates your personal view more vividly.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • fulfillment
  • personal goals
  • happiness
  • career milestones
  • professional development
  • financial independence
  • security
  • philanthropy
  • contribution
  • personal development
  • recognition
  • work-life balance
  • self-improvement
  • well-being
  • subjective
What to do next:
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