IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

It is better to buy just a few expensive clothes, rather than lots of cheaper clothes. Do you agree or disagree? Give reasons for your answer and include any relevant examples from your own knowledge or experience.

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It is believed by some that buying a few expensive
clothes
Use synonyms
are
Correct subject-verb agreement
is
show examples
 more appropriate than buying less expensive
clothes
Use synonyms
. In my view, I completely disagree with
this
Linking Words
 statement as cheaper
clothes
Use synonyms
 have the ability to make
someone
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 look fashionable
as well as
Linking Words
 giving them the option of buying more outfits for
better
Correct article usage
a better
show examples
 value
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
money
Use synonyms
. In light of the above, dressing up in expensive designer wear would not always make a person look more stylish.
In other words
Linking Words
, these
clothes
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 are expensive because of their brand name
while
Linking Words
 they are manufactured in developing countries for cheap labour. Despite paying thumping amounts of
money
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 for a brand,
someone
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 could buy a similar kind of dress or
suite
Correct your spelling
suit
show examples
 from a department store not only for a better price but
also
Linking Words
more
Change preposition
for more
show examples
clothes
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 with much variety than buying just one expensive wear.
For example
Linking Words
, my aunt used to buy designer wear from a branded store for $ 5000 and after a week she saw the same dress for $ 1000 in a department store in Burnaby.
This
Linking Words
 motivated her to buy less expensive but more
clothes
Use synonyms
 to update her wardrobe.
Moreover
Linking Words
, when buying a few expensive
clothes
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,
someone
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 can only wear
it
Correct pronoun usage
them
show examples
 for a short
period
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 of
period
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.
That is
Linking Words
 to say, no individual can wear the same set of
clothes
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 continuously.
Therefore
Linking Words
, they will have to spend more
money
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 to buy expensive
clothes
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 again which will be costly for an average income earner.
This
Linking Words
 is why buying
a lots
Correct the article-noun agreement
a lot
lots
show examples
 of cheaper
clothes
Use synonyms
become
Correct subject-verb agreement
becomes
show examples
 more useful as they can be worn over a long
period
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 of time
while
Linking Words
 the individual saves more
money
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while
Linking Words
 becoming fashionable with a wide
rage
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
 of
clothes
Use synonyms
. In conclusion, I am with the view that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 it is wise to buy a lot of cheaper
clothes
Use synonyms
 than expensive
clothes
Use synonyms
 as it will help to save
money
Use synonyms
as well as
Linking Words
 it will
also
Linking Words
 help
someone
Use synonyms
 to buy a
rage
Correct your spelling
range
show examples
 of
clothes
Use synonyms
 to wear for a long
period
Use synonyms
 of time.

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear position throughout the essay, consistently supporting your viewpoint with appropriate examples. While you've done this well, further strengthen your argument by exploring contrasting opinions before refuting them with your evidence.
Language Use
Work on improving the complexity of your sentence structures and vocabulary to enhance the sophistication of your writing. Incorporating a wider range of grammatical structures and vocabulary can make your arguments more compelling.
Coherence and Cohesion
Your essay shows a good structure with an introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion, which aids in the essay's overall coherence. To enhance cohesion between ideas, consider using a wider variety of linking words and phrases to clearly show the connections between paragraphs and within them.

Include an introduction and conclusion

A conclusion is essential for IELTS writing task 2. It is more important than most people realise. You will be penalised for missing a conclusion in your IELTS essay.

The easiest paragraph to write in an essay is the conclusion paragraph. This is because the paragraph mostly contains information that has already been presented in the essay – it is just the repetition of some information written in the introduction paragraph and supporting paragraphs.

The conclusion paragraph only has 3 sentences:

  • Summary
  • Restatement of thesis
  • Prediction or recommendation

Example:

To summarize, a robotic teacher does not have the necessary disciple to properly give instructions to students and actually works to retard the ability of a student to comprehend new lessons. Therefore, it is clear that the idea of running a classroom completely by a machine cannot be supported. After thorough analysis on this subject, it is predicted that the adverse effects of the debate over technology-driven teaching will always be greater than the positive effects, and because of this, classroom teachers will never be substituted for technology.

Start your conclusion with a linking phrase. Here are some examples:

  • In conclusion
  • To conclude
  • To summarize
  • Finally
  • In a nutshell
  • In general

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • sustainability
  • long-lasting
  • cost-per-wear
  • economical
  • investing
  • ethical manufacturing
  • transparent
  • exclusivity
  • designs
  • mass-produced
  • accessibility
  • budget
  • fast fashion
  • trends
  • maintenance
  • dry cleaning
  • social status
  • psychological implications
What to do next:
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