IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

Some people believe that technology has made maan more sociable. To what extent do you agree ar diagree.

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It is true that
technology
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 has flourished by leaps and bounds around the
world
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,
as a result
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, it assists
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
human
Fix the agreement mistake
humans
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 become more sociable and
enhance
Correct subject-verb agreement
enhances
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their's
Change noun form
their
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 social connections through
technology
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 devices. I strongly agree with
this
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 statement because it is easy to access
as well as
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 it avoids geographical barriers.
This
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 essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons. To commence with,
technology
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 devices can
easy
Add a missing verb
be easy
show examples
 to access without any charges to around the
world
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, so individuals
whoa
Correct your spelling
who
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 far away from their loved ones
that
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
have a chance to connect and continue their relationship through video calling apps.
This
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 means
people
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's communication and connection would not stop whether they are
in
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apply
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a long distances.
For example
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, individuals who study and work
in
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apply
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abroad
they
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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can know about their family member's everyday activities without being
same
Correct article usage
the same
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 under the roof
by
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of
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 the Internet. Needless to say, the Internet assists to
people
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 become
more close
Replace the words
closer
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 even if stay
in
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apply
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a long distances
Correct the article-noun agreement
long distances
a long distance
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.
Furthermore
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,
technology
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 can reduce the geographical barriers to the population and they can share, comment and post their personal matters to others.
This
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 means any person can interact
to
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with
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 a person who lives in other parts of the
world
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 without knowing.
For instance
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, Facebook and X social media platforms can assist
to
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apply
show examples
people
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 express their
point
Fix the agreement mistake
points
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 of view. Not only it
connects
Wrong verb form
connect
show examples
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world
Correct article usage
the world
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 but
also
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 it improves humans' social connections and
interaction
Fix the agreement mistake
interactions
show examples
through
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apply
show examples
virtually. Needless to say,
this
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 helps to communicate
to
Change preposition
with
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 others without getting
any
Correct quantifier usage
apply
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shy and
nurvius
Correct your spelling
nervous
 who are introverted. In conclusion,
technology
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 helps
to
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
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 become more sociable. It connects
people
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 from other parts of the
world
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along
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with
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apply
show examples
it enhances
human's
Change noun form
human
show examples
 communication effectively through social media and the Internet.
Therefore
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, I completely agree with
this
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 statement
technology
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 helps
to
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
people
Use synonyms
 become more sociable.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and structured presentation of ideas. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea and be followed by supporting details and examples.
coherence cohesion
Introduce a concise thesis statement in the introduction to clearly present your viewpoint. Conclude with a summary of your main points and restate your opinion.
task achievement
Support your arguments with specific examples. Even though you mentioned the use of technology for communication, providing more detailed and varied examples would enrich your essay.
task achievement
Review grammatical accuracy and range. There are several grammatical errors and awkward phrasings (e.g., 'it assists to human,' 'become more close') that hinder clarity. Practicing complex grammatical structures and proofreading would be beneficial.
coherence cohesion
Expand and diversify your vocabulary. Avoid repetitive language and strive to use a wider range of vocabulary to express your ideas more precisely and engagingly.
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