STUDIES SHOW THAT CRIME RATE ARE LOWER AMONG THOSE WITH EDUCATION DEGREES. THEREFORE, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE CRIME RATE IS TO EDUCATE CRIMINALS WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN PRISON. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

Scientific observations in many countries conclude that the rate of

criminal

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crime

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is lower among people with higher educational

degree

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degrees

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Moreover

Linking Words

, there is a suitable option to tackle

this

Linking Words

problem

through

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giving prisoners some learning to educate them

while

Linking Words

they are in jail.

This

Linking Words

essay

agree

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agrees

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about

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with

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that statement following with some highlighted key points. First of all, everyone who already

take

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takes

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a higher level of education

have

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has

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tendency

Add an article

a tendency

the tendency

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to think

logic

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logically

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and

rational

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rationally

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in terms of natural behaviour because they can distinguish between wrong and right actions. They

accustomed

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are accustomed

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take

Verb problem

making

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their own decisions to prevent

some criminal

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criminals

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, which is

the

Correct article usage

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example of bad attitudes. To highlight

this

Linking Words

point, Indonesia is the country that

schedule

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schedules

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additional

class

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classes

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for their prisoners to participate in "basic manner and attitudes" courses. In

this

Linking Words

class, experts are invited by the police to teach them how to choose and stick

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appropriate personalities in their lives. Eventually, it will help them to avoid wicked

condition

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conditions

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while

Linking Words

One reason why

criminal

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crime

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happened

Wrong verb form

happens

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is because of

the

Correct article usage

apply

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economic motivation. The majority of suspected are having

unstable

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an unstable

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economy and unable to find a way to solve

this

Linking Words

bottleneck. They are

trap

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trapped

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and choose to do evil actions,

such

Linking Words

stole

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stealing

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a bank to survive their lives. Person in crime should be taught new skills

how

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on how

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to create

a simple products

Correct the article-noun agreement

a simple product

simple products

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, so they have many choices to gain their income

while

Linking Words

returning to their home.

For example

Linking Words

, at the weekend, police officers schedule

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

dedicated soft skills classes for everyone to produce handmade items. Their crafts could be sold to increase their salary and they are unwilling to do criminal again.

To conclude

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

, education materials in prison should be

emphasis

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an emphasis

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on behaviour

acknowledgment

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acknowledgement

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and enhance

myriad

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a myriad

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of soft skills. They should have suitable personalities and extra competence to improve their lives and prevent

from

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apply

show examples

criminal actions.

ru.kabiru.biruSun Feb 25 2024

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Task Achievement

To improve Task Achievement, ensure that your essay fully addresses all parts of the prompt. Expand on your agreement or disagreement with the proposition by providing more nuanced arguments and considering multiple perspectives.

Task Achievement

Increase the clarity of your comprehensive ideas. Make sure each paragraph has one clear main idea supported by relevant details. Avoid generalizations and ensure your ideas progress logically to support your thesis.

Coherence and Cohesion

To enhance Coherence and Cohesion, focus on creating a more organized essay structure. Start with a clear introduction, follow with body paragraphs each dedicated to a single main point, and conclude with a summary that reaffirms your position.

Coherence and Cohesion

Use a variety of linking words to improve the flow of your essay. While your essay demonstrates some logical progression, greater use of connectors and transition phrases could enhance cohesion between ideas and paragraphs.

Task Achievement

Support each of your main points with detailed and specific examples. While you have provided some examples, further elaboration and specificity can strengthen your argument and make your essay more persuasive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

6
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
0
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
31
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 6.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 6.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

308 words

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Nowadays most of the people live abroad with their families or alone. Staying in another country which is not use their mother language in that country can cause serious social and practical problems for them. I totally agree with that statement.

STUDIES SHOW THAT CRIME RATE ARE LOWER AMONG THOSE WITH EDUCATION DEGREES. THEREFORE, THE BEST WAY TO REDUCE THE CRIME RATE IS TO EDUCATE CRIMINALS WHILE THEY ARE STILL IN PRISON. TO WHAT EXTENT DO YOU AGREE OR DISAGREE?

Your opinion

In many societies around the world, the population is rapidly aging, and this is leading to unsustainable increases in the cost of public health. The population of the country must pay for their own medical care in the future. Do you agree or disagree with the statement?

One of the consequences of improved medical care is that people are living longer and life expectancy is increasing. Do you think the advantages of this development outweigh the disadvantages?

Money spent on space exploration is a complete waste. Governments could better spend this money on other things to benefit the nation. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Drug abuse has become a growing concern in modern society, affecting both individuals and communities. Understanding the root causes of this issue is essential to finding effective solutions.

Living in a country where you have to speak a foreign language can cause serious social problems, as well as practical problems. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?