The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010. (pounds sterling)

The bar chart below shows the expenditure of two countries in consumer goods in 2010. (pounds  sterling)
✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
The bar chart highlights data about
money
Use synonyms
which was spent on several consumer goods in the
UK
Use synonyms
and
France
Use synonyms
in 2010. Units are measured in pounds sterling. Looking from an
overall
Linking Words
perspective, what stands out from the bar chart is that the
British
Use synonyms
spent more
money
Use synonyms
on consumer goods than
France
Use synonyms
in the period given. Both the
British
Use synonyms
and the French spent most of their
money
Use synonyms
on cars ,
whereas
Linking Words
money
Use synonyms
which was spent on perfume
is
Wrong verb form
was
show examples
the least in the
UK
Use synonyms
compared to cameras in
France
Use synonyms
. In terms of cars, people in the
UK
Use synonyms
spent just about £450,000 on
this
Linking Words
as opposed to the French who spent £400,000. The
British
Use synonyms
spent more
money
Use synonyms
on books than the French around £400,000 and £300,000 respectively. In the
UK
Use synonyms
, pay for cameras which was just over £350,000 was double that of
France
Use synonyms
, which accounted for only £150,000.
In contrast
Linking Words
,
money
Use synonyms
spent on the other goods was higher in
France
Use synonyms
. Above £350,000 was spent by the French on computers which was steadily more than the
British
Use synonyms
who spent exactly £350,000. Neither of the countries spent much on perfume which accounted for £200,000 of expenditure in
France
Use synonyms
but above £150,000 in the
UK
Use synonyms
.
Submitted by writingbhos on

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Introduction: The introduction is missing.
Introduction: Change the first sentence in the introduction.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Basic structure: Change the fourth paragraph.
Introduction: The chart intro is missing.
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, uk, france, british with synonyms.
Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the fourth paragraph.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: