IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. summarise information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

the charts below show the changes in ownership of electrical appliances and amount of time spent doing housework in households in one country between 1920 and 2019. summarise information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
#show #changes #ownership #appliances #amount #time #housework #households #country #summarise #information #features #comparisons
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The first bar chart illustrates the proportion of households with electrical appliances and the other chart gives information about
howmany
Correct your spelling
how many
 hours of housework each week, per household in a country, in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
terms of 9
years
Use synonyms
.
Overall
Linking Words
, at the beginning of the period, the percentage of washing
machine
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machines
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 was higher than others,
while
Linking Words
 after 9
years
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 it levelled off at the lowest position.
In addition
Linking Words
, the number of hours of
house work
Correct your spelling
housework
show examples
 was extremely higher in the first year of the duration. Looking at the details, in 1920, the figure for
washing
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the washing
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machine
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machines
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 was 40%, and the ratio for vacuum
cleaner
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cleaners
show examples
 and
refrigerator
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refrigerators
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 was about 30 and just above 0 per cent,
repectively
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respectively
.
Also
Linking Words
 in
this
Linking Words
year
Add a comma
year,
show examples
 people used electrical appliances more than
other
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in other
show examples
years
Use synonyms
. In the future
years
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, the use of
refrigerator
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refrigerators
show examples
 saw a dramatic rise to reach
at
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apply
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100 in 1980,
whereas
Linking Words
 the
propertion
Correct your spelling
proportion
 of making use of vacuum
cleanser
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cleansers
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 stood at that amount too, in 2000. But, washing
machine
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machines
show examples
 saw a slight upward trend
,
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apply
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 and became the
least used
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least-used
show examples
 appliance at around 70 in 2019. The total amount of time of
house work
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housework
show examples
 witnessed a downward trend and levelled off at approximately 10 in 2019.
Submitted by sindokhtdadjoo2000 on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
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Vocabulary: Replace the words years with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "trend" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "about" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • household appliances
  • time-efficient
  • labour-saving devices
  • technological innovations
  • ownership rate
  • housework chores
  • domestic workload
  • automation
  • advancements
  • trend analysis
  • societal shifts
  • economic impact
  • durability
  • lifespan of appliances
  • maintenance
  • historical comparison
  • time allocation
  • drudgery reduction
  • energy consumption
  • disruption in trends
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