The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015.

The chart below shows the percentage of households owning four types of electronic devices between 1995 and 2015.
the chart below illustrates the percentage of households owning four types of electronic
devices
between 1995 and 2015.
overall
, it is clearly seen that all of the electronic
devices
touched the highest price in 2015,
while
the lowest price was in the beginning
year
.
To begin
with, as a start in 1995, rarely people used electronic
devices
. Only 5% of each house use cellphones and computers, and 11% play their music with MP3 players.
Moreover
, the beginning of tablets occurred in 2003 without anyone knowing or using them.
Next,
year
by
year
, the use of electronic
devices
significantly rose in the early 2000s, especially for mobile phones, with 70% of folks talking to each other using
this
gadget,
while
computers and MP3 players only stood at 25%.
However
, as time goes by, 2015 is the peak
year
for electronic gadgets. Computers, phones and tablets are the most popular things with more than 80% of households owning them.
Submitted by Qia on

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Sentences: Add more complex sentences.
Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
Basic structure: Change the third paragraph.
Vocabulary: Rephrase your introduction. Words match: 91%.
Vocabulary: Replace the words devices, year with synonyms.
Vocabulary: Rephrase the word "percentage" in your introduction.
Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the second paragraph.
Vocabulary: Use several vocabularies to present the data in the third paragraph.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • households
  • electronic devices
  • ownership percentage
  • technological advancements
  • consumer behavior
  • market saturation
  • obsolescence
  • innovation
  • trends
  • emerging technologies
  • comparison
  • speculate
  • significance
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