IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6

The growth of online shopping will lead to the day when all offline shops will disappear. Do you agree or disagree with this opinion

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Many
people
Use synonyms
 think that spreading of the shopping through the
Use synonyms
internet
Capitalize word
Internet
show examples
 may affect shopping in city malls
whereas
Linking Words
 others don’t believe so. I partly agree and In what follows I explain my point of view. On the
one
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hand
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, it could happen because of the fast spreading of the
internet
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. More and more
people
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 in the near future will probably have an opportunity to get the
internet
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.
Hence
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, it will make buying of the stuff from the websites easier. And I guess,
people
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 will take these opportunities.
On the other
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hand
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, spending time and socializing are still
one
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 of the important things in
people
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’s lives. Many of them prefer spending time going to some city malls talking to each other getting some rumours and so on.
For
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this
Linking Words
 reason,
offline
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 shopping as a big part of
lives
Correct pronoun usage
our lives
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 won’t disappear at all.
Moreover
Linking Words
one
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 of the pros of
offline
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 shopping is that you can feel anything you want to buy. Interaction is
also
Linking Words
 a big deal for many
people
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. Thanks to
this
Linking Words
 you can choose more high-quality and comfortable stuff for yourself. It means not only the appearance of the thing is important but
also
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 the quality and nice feel. So
that is
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 why
offline
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 shopping will be alive. In conclusion on the
one
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hand
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 developing and wide spreading of the
internet
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 may reduce using
offline
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 shopping but still
on the other
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hand
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 there are
people
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 who probably would prefer shopping online for many reasons
such
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 as socializing and
possibility
Correct article usage
the possibility
show examples
 to
interact
Wrong verb form
interacting
show examples
 with stuff they buy

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Task Achievement
To improve the task response, ensure that your essay directly answers the question from the very beginning, stating clearly if you agree or disagree with the given statement. Expand on your ideas with more detailed and varied examples to reinforce your point of view.
Coherence and Cohesion
For coherence and cohesion, work on the logical progression of your ideas. Aim for a smooth flow by using a wider variety of linking words and phrases. This will make your essay more cohesive and easier to follow. Additionally, ensure the consistency of your argument throughout the essay.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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