IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

The US film industry has too much influence on the film industry around the world. Governments have a duty to invest money in their own film industries to protect and develop their cultures. To what extent do you agree or disagree with this statement?

#film #industry #influence #world #governments #duty #money #industries #cultures
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These days, we can not deny that the United States movies have had a significant impact on the
film
 industry in every
country
. Some argue that governments should put their expenditures into
movie
 projects to develop their cultures and
protects
Correct subject-verb agreement
protect
show examples
 them. I, firmly agree with
this
 statement because money is the key to producing a good quality
movie
 and it could promote their
country
 to gain attention in the tourism section.
To begin
 with, we know that America is a developed
country
 and their government invests some amount of money in
movie
 projects.
For example
, in the States, every person who goes to the cinema to watch a
movie
 must pay for the tickets. The purpose of
fee
Correct article usage
the fee
show examples
 ticket was divided into two categories, half for the cinema and half for the
film
 industry.
As a result
, the director of a
movie
 doesn't have
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
difficulty searching for money, just focuses on producing a good quality
film
.
Secondly
, in
this
 day and age, South Korea
also
 gain attention from around the world, because they have succeeded in being the first
country
 with the highest number of tourists. As an example,
in
Change preposition
apply
show examples
every Korean
movie
 always had a scene where they were eating kimchi, which is one of their traditional food.
Consequently
, many foreign people travel to South Korea to taste kimchi.
To sum up
, the impact of government investments in the
film
 industries could make huge advantages to their countries, to prevent and to develop their cultures.
Submitted by anjanadmr on

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Task Achievement
Develop your arguments further by providing more depth and evidence. Your essay presents a clear stance, but adding more detailed examples and elaborating on how government investment in the film industry specifically influences culture and tourism can strengthen your argument.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical progression of ideas throughout your essay. While your essay generally flows well, creating stronger links between your points can improve readability. Consider using more cohesive devices and topic sentences that clearly signal what each paragraph will discuss.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Americanisation
  • Cultural imperialism
  • Local cinema
  • Cultural diversity
  • Cultural homogenization
  • Film subsidies
  • National identity
  • Artistic expression
  • Blockbusters
  • Cultural preservation
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