Some people want the government to spend more money for looking life on other planets, however others think its waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth that the government should be solving. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

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In the modern era, most nations are devoting astronomical budgets to
find
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finding

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an alternative for
earth
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Earth

The word earth should be capitalized in this context.

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. Some groups of society agree
while
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others believe problems of the earth would be solved if they spend
this
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money on our planet. Because of the high expenses of
space
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misions
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missions

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, I agree with the latter
attitute
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attitude

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and I'm going to explain more about
in
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it in

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the rest of
this
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essay.
To begin
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with, some individuals oppose huge
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding

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on seeking
earth
Capitalize word
Earth

The word earth should be capitalized in this context.

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alternative
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alternatives

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.
For example
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,
Nasa
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NASA

The word Nasa doesn’t seem to fit this context. Consider replacing it with a different one.

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began
Artemis
Correct article usage
the Artemis

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mission in 2017 and it is estimated that
untill
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until

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2025 they will have
spend
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spent

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more than 93 billion USD on that mission
while
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with even
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third

It appears that you are missing a hyphen with the compound number one third. Consider adding a hyphen.

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of
this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

money, poverty, air pollution and other crises can be tackled. In
the
Correct article usage
apply

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developing countries, people don't care a lot about environmental
issues
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because they should combat financial
issues
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.
Therefore
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, investing in environmentally friendly materials can help to enhance the quality of life,
preserving
Wrong verb form
preserve

It appears that your sentence or clause uses an incorrect form of the verb preserving. Consider changing it.

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this
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

lovely planet and save other
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures

It seems that creature may not agree in number with other words in this phrase.

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that we can't find in
the
Correct article usage
apply

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space
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words

Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, advocates of
space
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missions tout their many advantages. Phone
manufactuters
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manufacturers

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,
for instance
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, produce most of their phones
by
Change preposition
with

It seems that preposition use may be incorrect here.

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titanium that comes from other planets because of its strength and beauty.
Hence
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, exploring
the
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apply

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space
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can give the opportunity to scientists to improve the devices and materials that individuals use daily.
Aditionally
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Additionally

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, new materials can help medical
pharmecists
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pharmacists

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to make new drugs and medicines to cure diverse kinds of disorders and even disabilities. So
space
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exploration can
also
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lead to vast improvements in human knowledge.
To conclude
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Usage of linking words is important in IELTS writing. They help create clear connections between ideas in your writing. They improve the flow of your essay by showing relationships between paragraphs and sentences. Using appropriate linking words demonstrates your ability to write cohesively and will help you achieve a higher band score.

, the controversy about investments in
space
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missions is an inevitable part of discussions. Because of the extreme poverty in some regions and all the harms that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment

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bear because of financial
issues
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, I believe most of the money
of
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for

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space
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missions should be dedicated to reducing poverty and environmental
issues
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It is important to use synonyms in your writing, as you will lose marks if you repeat words from the question and use the same words in your essay over and over. If you do that, it will show the examiner that you have a limited vocabulary and you want to do the opposite for a high band score.

.

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Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction, clearly stating your stance on the issue to guide the reader through your essay.
Task Achievement
In discussing both views, make sure to provide equal examination and development of both sides. This ensures a balanced view before stating your opinion in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas more seamlessly across paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, consider developing your main points more fully with detailed examples or evidence. This strengthens the argument and engages the reader.
General Advice
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos. While these don't significantly impact understanding, they can detract from the overall presentation of your ideas.
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