IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Some people want the government to spend more money for looking life on other planets, however others think its waste of public money when there are so many problems on earth that the government should be solving. Discuss both side and give your opinion.

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?
In the modern era, most nations are devoting astronomical budgets to
find
Wrong verb form
finding
show examples
 an alternative for
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
. Some groups of society agree
while
Linking Words
 others believe problems of the earth would be solved if they spend
this
Linking Words
 money on our planet. Because of the high expenses of
space
Use synonyms
misions
Correct your spelling
missions
, I agree with the latter
attitute
Correct your spelling
attitude
 and I'm going to explain more about
in
Correct pronoun usage
it in
show examples
 the rest of
this
Linking Words
 essay.
To begin
Linking Words
 with, some individuals oppose huge
fundings
Fix the agreement mistake
funding
show examples
 on seeking
earth
Capitalize word
Earth
show examples
alternative
Fix the agreement mistake
alternatives
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Nasa
Correct your spelling
NASA
show examples
 began
Artemis
Correct article usage
the Artemis
show examples
 mission in 2017 and it is estimated that
untill
Correct your spelling
until
 2025 they will have
spend
Wrong verb form
spent
show examples
 more than 93 billion USD on that mission
while
Linking Words
 with even
one third
Add a hyphen
one-third
show examples
 of
this
Linking Words
 money, poverty, air pollution and other crises can be tackled. In
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
developing countries, people don't care a lot about environmental
issues
Use synonyms
 because they should combat financial
issues
Use synonyms
.
Therefore
Linking Words
, investing in environmentally friendly materials can help to enhance the quality of life,
preserving
Wrong verb form
preserve
show examples
this
Linking Words
 lovely planet and save other
creature
Fix the agreement mistake
creatures
show examples
 that we can't find in
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 as well.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, advocates of
space
Use synonyms
 missions tout their many advantages. Phone
manufactuters
Correct your spelling
manufacturers
,
for instance
Linking Words
, produce most of their phones
by
Change preposition
with
show examples
 titanium that comes from other planets because of its strength and beauty.
Hence
Linking Words
, exploring
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 can give the opportunity to scientists to improve the devices and materials that individuals use daily.
Aditionally
Correct your spelling
Additionally
, new materials can help medical
pharmecists
Correct your spelling
pharmacists
 to make new drugs and medicines to cure diverse kinds of disorders and even disabilities. So
space
Use synonyms
 exploration can
also
Linking Words
 lead to vast improvements in human knowledge.
To conclude
Linking Words
, the controversy about investments in
space
Use synonyms
 missions is an inevitable part of discussions. Because of the extreme poverty in some regions and all the harms that
environment
Correct article usage
the environment
show examples
 bear because of financial
issues
Use synonyms
, I believe most of the money
of
Change preposition
for
show examples
space
Use synonyms
 missions should be dedicated to reducing poverty and environmental
issues
Use synonyms
.

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site's author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

Task Achievement
Ensure a clear thesis statement in your introduction, clearly stating your stance on the issue to guide the reader through your essay.
Task Achievement
In discussing both views, make sure to provide equal examination and development of both sides. This ensures a balanced view before stating your opinion in the conclusion.
Coherence & Cohesion
Improve coherence by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to help connect ideas more seamlessly across paragraphs.
Coherence & Cohesion
To enhance cohesion, consider developing your main points more fully with detailed examples or evidence. This strengthens the argument and engages the reader.
General Advice
Proofread your essay to correct minor grammatical errors and typos. While these don't significantly impact understanding, they can detract from the overall presentation of your ideas.
What to do next:
Look at other essays: