It is suggested that everyone should have a car, a TV and a fridge. Do the advantages of this development for society outweigh the disadvantages?
It is true that modern vehicles and home appliances are quite popular around the world.
As a result
, everyone has a car, TV and refrigerator. This
trend has benefits as well as
drawbacks but it has more disadvantages outweigh that
advantages. Correct determiner usage
the
This
essay discusses it briefly for the following reasons.
To commence with, there are some merits of using modernized products. One of the main benefits is that cars can save people's time from waiting the public transportation and they can stop wherever and whatever they want. For example
, these days many individuals like to go for
road trips Change preposition
on
due to
owning cars for their own purposes. Another benefit is that home appliances reduce human stress and depression from workload through watching TV for entertainment along with
fridge
for preserving Add an article
a fridge
foods
Fix the agreement mistake
food
long
hours, and Change preposition
for long
as a result
, house wives
have a chance to enjoy and take a rest from house chores.
Despite these advantages, owning these products Correct your spelling
housewives
have
some drawbacks. One of the main disadvantages is that the pollution ratio is increased in urban places because of the increasing number of cars, Correct subject-verb agreement
has
consequently
, the public suffers plenty of chronic and respiratory diseases. For instance
, a
recent report released from Japan, urban inhabitants are affected by lung cancer as compared to the ruler ones. Another disadvantage is that it affects Change preposition
in a
individual's
daily routine life and they become Fix the agreement mistake
individuals'
more laziness
Correct word choice
lazier
as well as
they do not survive without these home appliances. Needless to say, it brings more detrimental effects on society.
In conclusion, although
using modern gadgets save
and Correct subject-verb agreement
saves
reduce
people's time, it causes the public Correct subject-verb agreement
reduces
become
Add the particle
to become
more
lazier and Change the word
apply
increasing
Wrong verb form
increases
pollution
rate. Correct article usage
the pollution
Therefore
, it has more drawbacks outweigh that
benefits.Correct determiner usage
the
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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear and logical structure throughout your essay. Use paragraphing effectively to distinguish between your introduction, body paragraphs, and conclusion. Each paragraph should contain one main idea and should be developed cohesively.
coherence cohesion
Improve the introduction and conclusion of your essay. Ensure that your introduction clearly paraphrases the question and states your overall position. The conclusion should summarize your main points and restate your position clearly.
coherence cohesion
Develop your main points with detailed explanations and specific examples. Avoid repeating the same idea in different words. Instead, provide deeper analysis or a variety of examples to support your argument.
task achievement
Fully address all parts of the task. It's important to discuss both the advantages and disadvantages equally, and clearly state if one outweighs the other, providing supporting reasons for your view.
task achievement
Make sure your ideas are clear and easy to understand. Break complex ideas into simpler ones if necessary and ensure that each paragraph flows logically to the next.
task achievement
Incorporate specific examples or data to strengthen your argument. Examples should be relevant and clearly linked to the point you are making in your paragraph.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?