The pictures show the process of making cherry jam

The picture illustrates the stages in the production of cherry
jam
.
Overall
, there are nine steps in the cherry
jam
manufacturing process, beginning with collecting
cherries
from cherry trees
and
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
transporting the material to the manufacturing plant and ending with labelling the jerry
jam
jars.
Firstly
, the factories use a big sheet spread on the ground
while
the cherry trees are shaken to get the
cherries
. After that, the
cherries
are collected and transported directly to the manufacturing plant. There, the leaves and stems are removed.
The
Change preposition
In the
show examples
next stage, some other stitching processes
also
continue to wash the
cherries
, and the stones in the middle of the
cherries
are taken out.
Next,
the process continues with cooking the
cherries
in a giant steamer and
added
Correct article usage
the added
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ingredients are lemon juice, sugar and pectin.
Then
, the examiner will check the quality of the
jam
to ensure the best production
to
Change preposition
for
show examples
the consumers. If the
jam
is qualified, it will be divided into each jar.
Finally
, a label is stuck on the cherry
jam
jars.
Submitted by ieltswritingpracticedl on

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task achievement
Make sure to introduce the main stages of the process at the beginning of your essay to give the reader a clear overview. While you've done this well, adding slightly more detail could enhance clarity.
coherence cohesion
To improve coherence, aim to connect sentences and stages more smoothly by using a wider range of linking words and transitions, such as 'following this,' 'subsequently,' or 'once completed.'
coherence cohesion
Enhance cohesion by grouping similar stages together and discussing them in a logical order, ensuring that each paragraph focuses on a specific part of the process without jumping back and forth between stages.
task achievement
For a higher score in task achievement, you could elaborate on the importance of each stage and possibly discuss why certain ingredients like pectin are added, providing a more comprehensive understanding of the process.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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