IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5.5

Computers havr changed the wat people study. What are the advantages and disadvantages of using computers as study aids?

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There is no doubt that the invention of
computer
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the computer
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 has transformed the way of learning.
This
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 essay will delve into
merits
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the merits
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 and demerits of using
computer
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computers
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 for academic
purpose
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purposes
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 with relevant illustrations. First and foremost, one of the obvious advantages of the computer for learning
purpose
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purposes
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 is
enormous
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an enormous
the enormous
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 number of electronic references.
In other words
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, the rapid progress of information technology enables online learning resources all around the globe.
For example
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, Khan Acadamy, a
YouTube based
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YouTube-based
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 educational academy provides free education for
students
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. Which is accessible
for
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to
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students
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 around the globe.
In contrast
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,
the
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in the
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 past days
these kind
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this kind
these kinds
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 of lessons
had
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were
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 only available for a faction of
students
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.
Besides
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, computers
are fortified
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have fortified
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 the creativity of learners.
This
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 is because various
softwares
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software
such
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 as Adobe Photoshop
help
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helps
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students
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 to be creative more than ever before.
Nevertheless
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, there are some demerits
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to
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for
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to
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 using information
technology based
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technology-based
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 electronic devices for educational purposes.
Firstly
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, juveniles would addicted to computers which may
be result
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result
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 to loose of their critical thinking ability.
For example
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, artificial
intelligence based
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intelligence-based
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 applications
such
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 as ChatGPT are
widly
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widely
 used to aid
the
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apply
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educational purposes. Experts are notified that overuse of these applications will adversely affect
learning
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the learning
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 ability of the
scholers
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scholars
.
Moreover
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, hackers may use information stored in computers for child
abuses
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abuse
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. In detail,
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at
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in
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at
show examples
Correct article usage
an
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the
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an
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 early age, children may not have the
cappasity
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capacity
 to differentiate right and wrong,
threfore
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therefore
, anti-social groups might target juveniles. In conclusion,
While
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accessiblity
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accessibility
of
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to
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 immense learning materials, and
platform
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a platform
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 for creativity are the advantages,
loosing
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losing
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 critical thinking ability and children
are
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being
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 targeted for hacking and
abusing
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abuse
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 are the major demerits.

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Spelling and Grammar
Ensure accurate spelling and grammar throughout your essay to enhance clarity and professionalism. Mistakes such as 'havr' (have), 'wat' (what), and 'Khan Acadamy' (Khan Academy) can detract from your overall score.
Detail and Development
Expand on your examples to strengthen your argument. While you've provided instances such as Khan Academy and Adobe Photoshop, elaborating on how these specifically enhance learning or creativity will make your point more convincing.
Evidence and Support
Be wary of generalisations without evidence. Statements about the adverse effects of overuse of applications like ChatGPT should be supported with references or more detailed examples to improve credibility.
Organization
Consider the organization of your essay. Use transitional phrases to smoothly connect ideas between paragraphs, and ensure that each paragraph has a clear main idea supported by examples or explanations.
Structure
To improve coherence and cohesion, make sure your essay has a clear and logical structure from the introduction to the conclusion. Use topic sentences to introduce the main idea of each paragraph, and consistently link back to the question throughout the essay.

Answer the 'Advantages and Disadvantages' topic

IELTS advantages and disadvantages questions normally give you a statement and ask you to comment on the advantages and disadvantages of that statement.

Answer structure for the type of essay

  • Introduction
  • Body paragraph 1 – advantages
  • Body paragraph 2 – disadvantages
  • Conclusion

Examples to start your body paragraph:

  • The main advantage is...
  • The disadvantage of this...
  • The main benefit...
  • Despite these advantages...
  • One possible drawback...

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