IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

You bought a computer, and it is not connecting the Internet. Write a letter to an IT specialist to ask for help. - explain the details of the computer - tell the problem - ask for help

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Dear Sir , I am writing to ask for information about how to connect
Use synonyms
computer
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the computer
a computer
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 to
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the internet
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internet
Capitalize word
Internet
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. I have just bought
new
Correct article usage
a new
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computer
Use synonyms
 5 days ago . The
computer
Use synonyms
suggested
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is suggested
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 by
professional
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a professional
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 manager who is working in the central shopping mall. Actually, I
knew
Verb problem
learned
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 more things about some technologies. Because I easily understood how to use them.
However
Linking Words
, I was shocked when I couldn't understand
Correct article usage
the softwares
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softwares
Correct your spelling
software
 of that
last
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 fashion
computer
Use synonyms
.
The most
Correct article usage
Most
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programmes
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programs
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are look
Change the verb form
look
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 like same
with
Change preposition
as
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 other types of
Use synonyms
computer
Fix the agreement mistake
computers
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, but
this
Linking Words
 one is different.
Firstly
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, I would like to know more about
difference
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the difference
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 between computers, because I wonder if I bought
wrong
Correct article usage
the wrong
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 one.
Furthermore
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, I heard that
new brand
Add a hyphen
new-brand
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 products are usually unreliable . What do you think about
this
Linking Words
advertise
Replace the word
advertisement
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.
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?
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 The manager told me that
Use synonyms
computer
Correct article usage
the computer
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 has a
many
Correct word choice
lot more
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 facilities than others and it's suitable for every age of people. So, I asked some questions from him , but he couldn't reply clearly. I would be grateful if you give me some useful information about these opinions. You could send the
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above-mentioned
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above- mentioned
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above-mentioned
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Correct your spelling
information
informations
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information
 to my email. I look forward to receiving
prompt
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a prompt
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 reply ! Yours sincerely, Nozigul

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Task Achievement
Ensure your letter directly addresses the specific concerns outlined in the task. Although you mention having difficulty with the computer's software, further specifics on the internet connection issue would strengthen your task response.
Coherence and Cohesion
Begin with a clear introduction that directly addresses the recipient and outlines the purpose of your letter. For clarity, divide your letter into paragraphs each focusing on a specific aspect: describe the computer, clearly state the problem, and then directly ask for help.
Coherence and Cohesion
Use suitable greetings and closures for formal letters. In your letter, the greeting 'Dear Sir,' is appropriate, but ensuring you close with a more formal sign-off, such as 'Yours faithfully,' followed by your name, would align better with formal letter-writing conventions.

The Greeting

Depending on the style and aim of the letter, you will need to adapt your greeting.

Always start an informal letter in the ways:

  • Dear + name
  • Hi / Hello + name

‘Dear...’ is more appropriate, so stick with this.

For a formal letter there are two options for the greeting:

  • Use Dear Sir or Madam if you don’t know the name of the person you are writing to.
  • Use Dear + surname if you do know their name, e.g. Dear Mr Smith or Dear Mrs Jones.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • Technical specifications
  • Operating system
  • Connectivity issue
  • Diagnostic steps
  • Error messages
  • Remote assistance
  • Consultation
  • Inconvenience
  • Troubleshooting
  • Appreciation
  • Contact information
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