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Band 5

In the future all cars, buses and trucks will be driveless. The only people travelling inside these vechiles will be passengers. Do you think advantages outweigh the disadvantages?

#future #cars #buses #trucks #driveless #people #vechiles #passengers
Nowadays,the rate of technological development in every field is very rapid. Especially in the transportation areas which
is allowing
Wrong verb form
allow
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
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vehicles
 can operate without human
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
. Some people believe that
this
advance
Replace the word
advanced
show examples
technology
 can bring
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 new way to enjoy
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
travelling.
However
, there are many people who have wondered about the safety of
this
 idea.
This
 essay will argue that
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driverless
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more advantages than
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
disadvantages at least
for
Change preposition
in
show examples
 two aspects. The first aspect is to make travelling more enjoyable. People do not make an effort to focus on driving a
car
, because we can just set the route for our
destinatination
Correct your spelling
destination
,
then
Correct word choice
and then
show examples
 the
car
system
 will automatically move based on the setting that we request. Meanwhile, we can do anything in the
car
, like emailing, reading a book, or even
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
writing
in
Change preposition
on
show examples
 a laptop. In
this
 situation, there is
boring
Rephrase
no boring
show examples
 situation any more on the road. The second aspect is the safety. Travelling with driverless
car
Fix the agreement mistake
cars
show examples
 or either kind of
vehicles
Fix the agreement mistake
vehicle
show examples
 will reduce
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human error on the road. As we can see in the news
that
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
there were a lot of traffic accidents caused by human
driver
Fix the agreement mistake
drivers
show examples
 which not focus on
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driving. If the transportation
system
 can integrate with the
satelites
Correct your spelling
satellites
 and the global positioning
system
 (GPS) embedded in our
vehicles
that
is
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
means the
trasnportation
Correct your spelling
transportation
 route will be
more safe
Replace the words
safer
show examples
 because every
vehicles
Change to a singular noun
vehicle
show examples
 will
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
systematically speak
each
Change preposition
with each
show examples
 other with
this
technology
. In conclusion, in my opinion
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
driverless
technology
have
Change the verb form
has
show examples
 more positive
impact
Fix the agreement mistake
impacts
show examples
 than the
negatives
Fix the agreement mistake
negative
show examples
one
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
.
However
, because of
this
technology
 is still
on
Change preposition
at
show examples
the
Correct article usage
an
show examples
 early age. The company and
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 have to
serious
Add a missing verb
be serious
show examples
to build
Change preposition
about building
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
good
regulation
Fix the agreement mistake
regulations
show examples
on
Change preposition
for
show examples
 our transportation
system
.
Submitted by misstiasclassroom on

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task achievement
Ensure each paragraph clearly addresses a single main point, with supporting examples or explanations to back up your argument. Providing more specific examples and evidence to support your claims can help clarify your points and make your argument more compelling.
coherence cohesion
Strive for a more varied sentence structure and vocabulary to avoid repetition and enhance readability. Additionally, paying close attention to grammatical accuracy can significantly improve the overall coherence of the text.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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