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Band 3

Large business have big budgets for marketing and promotion and as a result , people gravitate towards buying their products . What problems does this causes ? What could be done to encourage people to but local product ?

#business #budgets #promotion #people #gravitate #products #product
Major management of massive businesses like to increase their wealth to end up getting a lot of customers. in
this
 essay, I discuss some problems and describe the emotions of
people
. one of the main causes of the problem is that when big
companies
 start advertising , common
people
 buy many essential products from big
companies
, so local
companies
 can't compete with big
companies
, and their management closes the
companies
, and many workers lose their jobs. another problem is that, in the year many budgets of big factories are wasted because they invest millions of dollars in advertising
due to
 creative bad
feeling
Fix the agreement mistake
feelings
show examples
 in
Add an article
the mind
show examples
mind
Fix the agreement mistake
minds
show examples
 of
people
 you can think you are watching a poster in surrounding
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
cities. A third cause of the problem relevant to the tradition of each location is special
as a result
 may be some
people
 like one
product
for instance
 a case of pizza
while
 big
company
Fix the agreement mistake
companies
show examples
 make a case of pizza and sell them.
thus
 big
companies
 get a choice of
people
.
to sum up
 , governments must be supportive of the local factories and increase to get
a
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
loans.
then
 start to help local
potenty
Correct your spelling
potency
potently
. found a
commiet
Correct your spelling
commit
comment
 to search of
vitual
Correct your spelling
virtual
product
 for creative factory or plan of
enthusastic
Correct your spelling
enthusiastic
people
 to buy local
product
.charge account of
people
 to buy local products.
although
 I think
world
Correct article usage
the world
show examples
come
Correct subject-verb agreement
comes
show examples
 to
country
Correct article usage
a country
show examples
mean
Verb problem
apply
show examples
everyone can do anything as
people
 can buy another
product
 they like . and we have to accept
this
 subject.
Submitted by poriamol on

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task achievement
Focus on clearly defining the issues caused by large businesses' marketing strategies, and how these affect local businesses and consumers. Avoid vague statements and ensure that each paragraph systematically discusses a distinct point.
coherence cohesion
Work on forming clear and grammatically correct sentences. This includes proper use of articles, verb tenses, and prepositions. Focus on subject-verb agreement and the correct use of plural and singular nouns. Revising basic grammar and sentence structure will greatly improve your writing.
coherence cohesion
Ensure your essay has a clear introduction, body paragraphs, and a conclusion. The introduction should outline the topics you will discuss, each body paragraph should focus on a single idea, and the conclusion should summarize your arguments and state your stance or recommendation.
task achievement
Use specific examples to support your points. Examples help illustrate your arguments and make them more convincing. Research real-life instances where local businesses have been affected by the marketing strategies of larger companies or provide concrete suggestions on how individuals can support local businesses.
coherence cohesion
Improve readability by organizing your ideas into clear, logical paragraphs. Each paragraph should start with a topic sentence that introduces the main idea, followed by supporting sentences, and possibly an example or conclusion sentence.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

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