IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 4

In many countries, the number of animals and plant declining? Why do you think this is happening? How can this issue be solved

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The decline in the
number
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 of wild
animals
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 and
trees
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cause
Correct subject-verb agreement
causes
show examples
of
Change preposition
apply
show examples
stress for many countries and
problems
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 affecting
to
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apply
show examples
the environment. In
this
Linking Words
 essay, I will discuss about reasons which damage to the natural
habitat
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. We live in an age when many of us
are considering
Wrong verb form
consider
show examples
 elements
affect
Correct pronoun usage
that affect
show examples
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
natural
Replace the word
nature
show examples
is
Correct your spelling
as
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 unimportant, so we currently have many troubles
about
Change preposition
with
show examples
 the ecosystem
such
Linking Words
 as pollution, erosion and trash. There are a large
number
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 of reasons to explain
for
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apply
show examples
these
problems
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,
one
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 of them is the forest being damaged by citizens.
In addition
Linking Words
. the
number
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 of
trees
Use synonyms
has
Wrong verb form
that have
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 been
cutted
Correct your spelling
cut
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 per year is
cause
Wrong verb form
caused
show examples
of
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by
show examples
flood
Fix the agreement mistake
floods
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 that
make
Verb problem
are
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 harmful
for
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to
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animals
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 living around areas.
Animals
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 have
not
Correct your spelling
no
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abilities
Fix the agreement mistake
ability
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 to catch
preys
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prey
show examples
 because decrease in the amount of
preys
Fix the agreement mistake
prey
show examples
 from
polutions
Correct your spelling
pollution
.
For instance
Linking Words
, the Amazon forest has
been
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
lost 30
percentage
Correct your spelling
per cent of
show examples
trees
Use synonyms
 and
animals
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to compare
Verb problem
apply
show examples
history,
that
Correct pronoun usage
which
show examples
mean
Change the verb form
means
show examples
 more and more
creatures
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 are likely to become extinct. As
the
Correct article usage
a
show examples
 result, people
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
 the main motivation that
make decline
Verb problem
keeps
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creatures
Use synonyms
 and
trees
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 in
the
Change the word
their
show examples
 natural
habitat
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. From my point of view,
althought
Correct your spelling
although
 we can solve
Linking Words
this
Change the determiner
this problem
these problems
show examples
problems
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 by many methods,
but
Correct word choice
apply
show examples
increasing abilities
awarness
Correct your spelling
awareness
 about natural security in public is the best solution. On account of helping
defence
Replace the word
defend
show examples
 of decline in the
number
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 of
animals
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 in
habitat
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 need a long time to
operation
Replace the word
operate
show examples
,
while
Linking Words
 if we
defense
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defend
show examples
 some issues that
currently
Add a missing verb
are currently
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 available, we can concentrate totally percent to solve
problems
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 before.
Therefore
Linking Words
, helping
creatures
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 and
trees
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 can be protected better than to compare with solving troubles and starting new
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one
Correct pronoun usage
ones
show examples
.
For example
Linking Words
,
Correct article usage
the goverment
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goverment
Correct your spelling
government
 should make some
restricts
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restrictions
show examples
 and
abandones
Correct your spelling
abandoned
about
Change preposition
on
show examples
 the amount of waste from factories and vehicles.
On the other hand
Linking Words
, trash
also
Linking Words
 be
one
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 of the
reason
Change to a plural noun
reasons
show examples
 that affect to ocean's
habitat
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, so
need
Correct pronoun usage
there need
show examples
 some restrictes to reduce the volume of rubbish
watse
Correct your spelling
waste
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 the ocean. In conclusion,
creatures
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is delining
Verb problem
are
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 always
be
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
one
Use synonyms
 of the biggest
difficulty
Fix the agreement mistake
difficulties
show examples
 for the
goverment
Correct your spelling
government
, so we need
control
Fix the infinitive
to control
show examples
 and solve reasons that affect
to
Change preposition
apply
show examples
the environment,
from
Change preposition
apply
show examples
it
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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to protect the
animal's
Change noun form
animals'
show examples
 environment.

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Coherence & Cohesion
To improve coherence and cohesion, focus on organizing your ideas more logically. Attempt to have a clear progression of thoughts from the introduction through to the conclusion. Make use of transitional phrases to better link your ideas and paragraphs.
Task Achievement
For better task achievement, ensure you directly address all parts of the question in a more structured manner. Expand your response with more specific examples and a broader analysis of the reasons behind and solutions to the decline of animals and plants.

Support ideas with relevant, specific examples

Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.

Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.

When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.

Linking words for giving examples:

  • for example
  • for instance
  • to illustrate this
  • to give a clear example
  • such as
  • namely
  • to illustrate
  • take, for example

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • biodiversity
  • ecosystem
  • endangered species
  • habitat destruction
  • global warming
  • carbon emissions
  • pollutants
  • poaching
  • invasive species
  • deforestation
  • overexploitation
  • urban sprawl
  • sustainable development
  • conservation
  • awareness campaigns
  • environmental education
  • legislation
  • protected areas
  • wildlife reserves
  • reintroduction programs
What to do next:
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