Some people say that those who are selfish and does not care about others are more likely to success at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

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It is argued that in order to be successful, one must be selfish and should only think about himself.

This

Linking Words

essay completely disagrees that being

self-centered

Change the spelling

self-centred

show examples

will help a person succeed because

success

Use synonyms

can be achieved through collaboration with others and hard work. Successful people often have associates that

helped

Wrong verb form

help

show examples

them get to the top. A person's knowledge is very limited. Most often a person only has one field of specialization.

That is

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why they hire employees in order to consult about their decisions and ideas. Sharing experiences and knowledge contributes to the growth of individuals and companies.

For instance

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, the Facebook

company

Use synonyms

was created by

group

Add an article

a group

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of friends, and now the most successful

company

Use synonyms

in the world. Tesla

company

Use synonyms

hired a group of engineers and scientists

Linking Words

that

Correct pronoun usage

which

show examples

is why they were able to manufacture a driverless car.

Thus

Linking Words

this

Linking Words

proves that collaboration is needed for the growth and

success

Use synonyms

of a

company

Use synonyms

In addition

Linking Words

to that, hard work is one of the key elements to succeed in life. Hardworking people have a concrete plan

about

Change preposition

for

show examples

their goals. They persevere despite the challenges and consistently put an effort in order to achieve their goals. They continuously find ways to learn and improve themselves.

For example

Linking Words

, students who put

extra

Change preposition

in extra

show examples

hours studying are

likely

Correct quantifier usage

more likely

show examples

to graduate with

honors

Change the spelling

honours

show examples

than those who do not.

Hence

Linking Words

, hard work is a crucial component

Change preposition

show examples

success

Use synonyms

. In conclusion, being self-centered can give temporary benefits to

individual

Fix the agreement mistake

individuals

show examples

Success

Use synonyms

often involves a combination of multiple factors

such

Linking Words

as being able to collaborate with others and working hard.

yoko.oneromMon Feb 26 2024

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coherence cohesion

Ensure a consistent and logical structure throughout your essay. Each paragraph should have a clear main idea, supported by examples or explanations. Consider using a wider range of linking words to connect ideas more smoothly.

task achievement

Expand your task response by exploring more nuanced viewpoints or counterarguments. This could involve acknowledging circumstances where being self-centered might contribute to success, then refuting these with stronger arguments or evidence. Such depth will enrich your essay.

coherence cohesion

To enhance coherence and cohesion, practice varying your sentence structures and using a wider variety of linking words. While your essay flows well, greater variety could make your writing more engaging and cohesive.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

8
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
10
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 7.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

260 words

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Topic Vocabulary:

selfish
care about others
success at work
opposing view
arguments
supporting
against
balanced view

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Some people say that those who are selfish and does not care about others are more likely to success at work. To what extent do you agree or disagree?

Your opinion

Many young people are motivated and successful at high school. Many others , however, lack motivation and see high school as irrelevant to their interests and needs. Why is this? What could be done to help all students succeed?

Some people believe it is best to accept a bad situation such as unsatisfactory jobs or shortage of money.others arige that it is better to try to improve such situations. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

These days, many people are shopping online instead of going to local stores. What are the advantages and disadvantages of this trend?