Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

#people #parents #children #members #society #school #place

✨ Do you want to improve your IELTS writing?

It is argued that few individuals believe

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible for teaching their

children

Use synonyms

to become good

members

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

However

Linking Words

, others claim the

school

Use synonyms

is the place to learn about

this

Linking Words

. I agree with the former point of view because

children

Use synonyms

's behaviour reflects that of their

parents

Use synonyms

. On the one hand,

Children

Use synonyms

's behaviour reflects that of their

parents

Use synonyms

Parents

Use synonyms

are the first teachers of their offerings and they watch and learn how their

parents

Use synonyms

act.

For example

Linking Words

, if

parents

Use synonyms

respect other people who live next door, and they speak politely and bow to elders

then

Linking Words

their

children

Use synonyms

also

Linking Words

learn to respect others and speak politely.

Therefore

Linking Words

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible

to teach

Change preposition

for teaching

show examples

their

children

Use synonyms

to be good

members

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

On the other hand

Linking Words

Use synonyms

school

Fix the agreement mistake

schools

show examples

teach

children

Use synonyms

subject

Correct subject-verb agreement

subjects

show examples

like social and moral education.

School

Use synonyms

contains many subjects to teach

children

Use synonyms

that include social and moral education, and have some social activities. But

however

Linking Words

, having these subjects and social activities doesn’t make

children

Use synonyms

good

members

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

, if they lack social norms and values. So,

School

Use synonyms

is a place to explore student

their

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

abilities and it leads them to become successful

person

Fix the agreement mistake

people

show examples

in future but being

success

Replace the word

successful

show examples

doesn’t make good

members

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

. In Conclusion,

parents

Use synonyms

are responsible for teaching their offerings to become good

members

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

, because they are the first teachers to their

children

Use synonyms

so they should teach them social norms and values, respect and speak politely with others.

Then

Linking Words

their

children

Use synonyms

will become good

members

Use synonyms

society

Use synonyms

Submitted by prashant.pun2076 on Mon Feb 26 2024

Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.

task response

Begin by addressing the task more explicitly in your introduction. Clearly state your thesis and outline the main points that will be discussed. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.

coherence and cohesion

Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Also, ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader.

task achievement

Support your arguments with more specific examples and details. For instance, when mentioning the role of parents or schools in shaping children, include real-life examples or studies that highlight their impact.

coherence and cohesion

Be mindful of repetition in your essay. Avoid using the same phrases or ideas multiple times. Instead, try to introduce new information or perspectives in each paragraph to keep the reader engaged.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

7
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
5
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
6
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 5.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 4.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

250 words

🚀 Prepare for IELTS writing section today!

Unlimited Task 1 & Task 2 checks
Practice with essays, charts, and letters.
Personalized suggestions & mistake analysis
Spot every mistake and boost your score.
Topic ideas & vocabulary helpers
Expand your ideas and use the right words.
Progress tracking
Watch your writing improve with every practice.

Topic Vocabulary:

good members of society
teach
parents
schools
responsibility
values
respect
empathy
responsibility
formal education
citizenship
ethics
social responsibility
lead by example
role models
conducive environment
extracurricular activities
community involvement
collaborate
holistic approach

What to do next:

Look at other essays:

5.5
band
Translation software are now accessible, people still thinks learning a language can be advantageous.
With the accessibility to various translation software at this point of technological development in our society, learning a language might be set aside as a time-wasting job to get started with, unlike how highly-respected it was years ago. People tend to rely on translation applications instead of spending effort and time actually studying the language, using multiple excuses to avoid taking part in linguistic classes or even too ignorant to enhance those skills on their own. No matter how advanced technology gets, learning a language still could be advantageous for us in different fields.
5
band
At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?
It is universally accepted that the world population is experiencing an increase trend, which can be noticed clearer in the developing countries. Considering this trend, a heated debate has occurred around the topic of whether the booming population, resulting in younger inhabitants, will be more advantageous or not. In my opinion, the benefits offerred by the rejuvenation of workers certainly are more considerable compared to the losses. This essay will demonstrate this perspective and give a conclusion.
8
band
Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.
In today's world, an ongoing debate centres on whether governments should prioritize arts subsidies over other alternatives in order to improve people's quality of life. This essay aims to explore both perspectives and arguments against subsidizing the arts at the expense of other alternatives for both developing and developed land.
5
band
Computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence ehance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development ?
Whether learners should use computer specially the Internet is an interesting discussion point. This writer argues that access to valuable resource.
6.5
band
In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?
Nowadays, in many countries and some cultures, working outside the house is a tabu for women and they believe mothers should only take care of children and the household. Most of these beliefs came from developing countries and third-world nations. However, it is totally usual for a woman to work in developed countries.

Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

Your opinion

Translation software are now accessible, people still thinks learning a language can be advantageous.

At present time the population of some countries includes a relatively large number of young adults, compared with the number of older people. Do the advantages of this situation outweigh the disadvantages?

Many governments in the world spend large amounts of money on art, which helps to improve the quality of people’s lives. However, governments should spend money on other things rather than art. Do you agree or disagree? Give your opinion.

Computer and AI technology are increasingly being used for online education. Can artificial intelligence ehance the learning experience? Is this a positive or negative development ?

In many counties, more and more people are staying at home to look after their children when women work full time. What are the reasons? Is it a positive or negative development?