Some people think that parents should teach children how to be good members of society. Others, however, believe that school is the place to learn this.

It is argued that few individuals believe
parents
are responsible for teaching their
children
to become good
members
of
society
.
However
, others claim the
school
is the place to learn about
this
. I agree with the former point of view because
children
's behaviour reflects that of their
parents
. On the one hand,
Children
's behaviour reflects that of their
parents
.
Parents
are the first teachers of their offerings and they watch and learn how their
parents
act.
For example
, if
parents
respect other people who live next door, and they speak politely and bow to elders
then
their
children
also
learn to respect others and speak politely.
Therefore
,
parents
are responsible
to teach
Change preposition
for teaching
show examples
their
children
to be good
members
of
society
.
On the other hand
,
school
Fix the agreement mistake
schools
show examples
teach
children
subject
Correct subject-verb agreement
subjects
show examples
like social and moral education.
School
contains many subjects to teach
children
that include social and moral education, and have some social activities. But
however
, having these subjects and social activities doesn’t make
children
good
members
of
society
, if they lack social norms and values. So,
School
is a place to explore student
their
Correct pronoun usage
apply
show examples
abilities and it leads them to become successful
person
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
in future but being
success
Replace the word
successful
show examples
doesn’t make good
members
of
society
. In Conclusion,
parents
are responsible for teaching their offerings to become good
members
of
society
, because they are the first teachers to their
children
so they should teach them social norms and values, respect and speak politely with others.
Then
their
children
will become good
members
of
society
.
Submitted by prashant.pun2076 on

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task response
Begin by addressing the task more explicitly in your introduction. Clearly state your thesis and outline the main points that will be discussed. This sets a strong foundation for your essay.
coherence and cohesion
Incorporate a wider range of linking words and phrases to improve the flow of your essay. Also, ensure each paragraph starts with a clear topic sentence that signals the main idea to the reader.
task achievement
Support your arguments with more specific examples and details. For instance, when mentioning the role of parents or schools in shaping children, include real-life examples or studies that highlight their impact.
coherence and cohesion
Be mindful of repetition in your essay. Avoid using the same phrases or ideas multiple times. Instead, try to introduce new information or perspectives in each paragraph to keep the reader engaged.

Your opinion

Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.

If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.

Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.

Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:

...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • good members of society
  • teach
  • parents
  • schools
  • responsibility
  • values
  • respect
  • empathy
  • responsibility
  • formal education
  • citizenship
  • ethics
  • social responsibility
  • lead by example
  • role models
  • conducive environment
  • extracurricular activities
  • community involvement
  • collaborate
  • holistic approach
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