IELTS Writing Correction Service /
Writing Samples /
Band 7.5

People have different job expectations for jobs. Some people prefer to do the same job for the same company, whereas others prefer to change jobs frequently. Write about advantages and disadvantages of each view point?

#people #job #expectations #jobs #company #change #point
In today's world, one's identity is often inexplicably linked to his or her profession. People have varied opinions and expectations for their jobs. Many prefer the stability of being in the same workplace for many
years
,
while
 others like changing employers frequently. Though both approaches have their pros and cons, which I will discuss in
this
 essay, in my opinion stepping out of your comfort zone is the ideal way to enjoy life.
Firstly
, spending
years
 in the same profession can be monotonous. Working more than 12 hours in the same cubicle, same building 5 days a week for
years
 on the end can get quite boring. A study conducted by the University of Denver in 2015 showed that employees who have worked for more than 15
years
 in the same
company
 have a 25% higher chance of burnout compared to employees who have been employed for less than 5
years
 in the same
company
. An issue that arises is that of
work
 quality. Spending many
years
 in the same
company
 decreases
work
 output and makes people more lethargic. An internal audit conducted by Harward Industries recently found that for each additional year that a person stays in the
company
 after 3
years
, his/her
work
 output drops by 5%.
However
, a steady workplace has a stabilising effect on the mental health of a person. Knowing that one has to travel the same route, meet the same colleagues and
work
 in a familiar environment can be very comforting for many people. The constant anxiety of changing jobs can create mental havoc on an individual's psyche.
Overall
 as we can see there are advantages and disadvantages to both approaches and one must choose what works best and suits them the most.
Submitted by surabhichattree on

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task achievement
Try to cover both views of the argument in equal detail to ensure a balanced discussion. The essay tends to focus more on the disadvantages of staying in the same job, which could make it seem biased.
coherence cohesion
Use a wider range of linking devices to improve the flow between sentences and paragraphs. While the essay has a good structure, more sophisticated linking words could enhance readability and coherence.
coherence cohesion
Incorporate a more diverse range of sentence structures to enhance the complexity and richness of your essay. This can also make your arguments more compelling and easier to follow.
task achievement
Be cautious with specific examples and data. Ensure they are relevant and accurately support your argument. It can be helpful to provide sources or clarify that the examples are hypothetical if actual data is not available.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • job stability
  • predictability
  • career advancement
  • work-life balance
  • innovation
  • adaptability
  • complacency
  • networking
  • instability
  • professional growth
  • job satisfaction
  • salary increments
  • versatile
  • routine
  • challenges
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