n some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is true that whether the old or the young is more essential varies in different parts of the world. The writer personally
lean
Change the verb form
leans
himself
Correct pronoun usage
apply
in
Change preposition
toward
priotirizing
the seniors as they have Correct your spelling
prioritizing
had
sacrificed their young age for the country’s development.
There are several reasons accounting for why old age is regarded as more important. Unnecessary verb
apply
To begin
with, this
group have been
devoted Wrong verb form
has
themselves
to forming the economic national foundation which is always ready to Correct pronoun usage
itself
boosted
by the next generation. Add a missing verb
be boosted
This
is why they should be respected by the whole society and deserved
to receive public badges Wrong verb form
deserve
such
as reduced cost of electric
or water.
Replace the word
electricity
However
, in some countries, the government have been
operated a special programme for Wrong verb form
has
the
Correct article usage
apply
senior
like paying them substantial Fix the agreement mistake
seniors
retired
Replace the word
retirement
salary
and better healthcare. Fix the agreement mistake
salaries
This
wage actually come
from the tax that they have to Change the verb form
comes
pat
every month and now they can receive with a little interest. The young Correct your spelling
pay
consequently
have to work harder to earn more money that compensate
for their parents’ interest salary. Change the verb form
compensates
Moreover
, given the worse healthcare, the later-generation-employees
can not ensure Correct your spelling
later-generation employees
such
things. Perhapsly
Correct your spelling
Perhaps
this
is also
the factor contributing for
why Change preposition
to
the
you Remove the article
apply
is
considered more primary in other parts.
In conclusion, I would lean Change the verb form
are
myself
on the older generation for what they have done during their time Correct pronoun usage
apply
of
working and the young have the responsibility of leading the country’s development.Change preposition
apply
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coherence cohesion
Ensure that your essay has a clear and logical structure. Use topic sentences to introduce each paragraph and cohesive devices to link ideas together effectively.
task achievement
Try to include a more balanced discussion of both views before presenting your own opinion. Make sure to develop each point with clear reasons and relevant examples.
General
Be mindful of grammatical accuracy and spelling to enhance the clarity of your writing. Proofreading your essay can help minimize errors.
Introduction and Conclusion
To improve the introduction and conclusion, clearly state the topic, summarize both views, and clearly express your own opinion. In the conclusion, restate your opinion with a brief summary of the main points.
Your opinion
Don’t put your opinion unless you are asked to give it.
If the question asks what you think, you MUST give your opinion to get a good score.
Don’t leave your opinion until the conclusion.
Here are examples of instructions that require you to give your opinion:
...do you agree or disagree?...do you think...?...your opinion...?