In some places old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
In some nations, old
people
are essential also
in other nations, young people
are extremely vital. In this
essay, the writer’s opinion is having more youngsters brings more benefits and the author with comprise both these views with the following logical evidence.
Mostly these days, youth
is contributing and learning much to the workforce of particular nations. Due to
the energetic workforce, young people
have solved many problems in the economy also
the community by the teenagers are coping and adapting to working the cutting-edge technology and innovating new ideas. For an
Correct article usage
apply
instant
, Australia is opening the gates for many skilled Replace the word
instance
migrations
in order to develop their countries since right now it has a lack of workforce. Replace the word
migrants
Therefore
, young groups
are highly vital to society part.
Also
, the youth
in this
generation have a kind soul, for most of the teenagers take part in lots of voluntary groups
in order to help many old and needy people
. This
activity shows that the young-aged
generations are more focused on helping another person than themselves. Correct your spelling
younger
For example
, people
have created many voluntary groups
that travel around to help people
and most of the groups
are teenagers.
However
, you could
see that elders are the most experienced person in Wrong verb form
can
this
society. Possibly, they can help you a lot in work and teaching especially the youth
that do not have much practical knowledge. Explaining that grandparents are able to share valuable experiences with young generations like senior citizens in Singapore always teach life lessons to their children to help them develop. Thus
, old-aged groups
still are part of valuation in society.
In conclusion, there are some people
who argue that senior citizens are more necessary,
but believe that Remove the comma
apply
youth
is the most prominent factor in this
sophisticated era.Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
Task Achievement
Ensure your introduction clearly presents the topics and your stance. It's great to state your opinion upfront, but also briefly mention the contrasting view to provide a comprehensive overview.
Task Achievement
Enhance your response by developing your arguments more thoroughly. While you provided examples, further elaboration and analysis could help to strengthen your points and offer more depth to your discussion.
Coherence and Cohesion
Aim for a more logical structure in your essay by clearly differentiating between paragraphs with topic sentences that preview the paragraph's content. This will help guide the reader through your arguments.
Coherence and Cohesion
Work on smooth transitions between paragraphs and within paragraphs to improve the flow of your essay. Phrases like 'however,' 'for example,' and 'therefore' can be effectively used to connect ideas.
Coherence and Cohesion
Be mindful of your essay's conclusion. It should not merely restate your opinion, but also succinctly summarize the key points made. This reinforces your argument and provides a clear closure.
General Advice
Pay attention to your grammar and ensure variety in sentence structures to maintain reader engagement and convey your ideas more effectively.
General Advice
Recheck your essay for minor spelling and punctuation errors. These small mistakes can distract from your message and make your writing seem less polished.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example