In some places, old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Age
is a significant aspect of cultural identity and social norms in many societies. In some
cultures
, old
age
is highly valued and older
people
are respected for their wisdom, knowledge and experience.
In contrast
, youth is often
considder
Correct your spelling
considered
consider
more important in other
cultures
, where the emphasis is on innovation, progress and the potential of the young. In societies where old
age
is valued, older
people
are often seen as the guardians of traditions and knowledge. They are respected for their wisdom and their opinions are highly valued in decision-making processes. In these
cultures
, older
people
are often celebrated for their accomplishments
an
Correct your spelling
and
show examples
contributions to
society
. They are provided with various forms of support and care to ensure that they can live
comfortable
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a comfortable
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life in their old
age
. The fact explains
that
Correct word choice
apply
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the rationale behind the reality that a great number of leaders in the world are seniors.
On the other hand
, in
cultures
where youth is considered more important, there is often a great emphasis on innovation, progress and the potential of young
people
. Young
people
are seen as
future
Correct article usage
the future
show examples
of
society
and there is a greater focus on education and training to help them develop their skills and abilities. In these
cultures
, the young
is
Change the verb form
are
show examples
celebrated for their achievements and
give
Wrong verb form
given
show examples
opportunities to take on leadership roles and contribute to
society
. Take Mark
Zuckerberge
Correct your spelling
Zuckerberg
, the 37-year-old CEO of Facebook as a prime example-
this
creative young man has successfully created a global social network. In my opinion, both views have their merits and there is value in valuing both old
age
and youth. Older
peoples
Fix the agreement mistake
people
show examples
have a wealth of experience and knowledge that can passed down to younger generations, helping to preserve cultural traditions and providing guidance and mentorship to the young. At the same time, young
people
are the future of
society
Add an article
a society
show examples
that can bring new ideas,
energy
Correct word choice
and energy
show examples
that can drive innovation and
progressess
Correct your spelling
progress
progresses
.

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Spelling and Grammar
Consider revising your essay to correct spelling errors (e.g., 'considder' should be 'considered', 'explains' instead of 'explains' in a more appropriate context, 'progressess' should be 'progress') to enhance readability and professionalism.
Cohesion
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Elaboration of Main Points
Develop your main points further by including more detailed examples and explanations. This depth will enrich your argument, making your points more persuasive and engaging to the reader.
Expression of Opinion
Explicitly state your opinion in the introduction as well as the conclusion for a more complete response to the prompt. This strengthens your argumentative stance throughout your essay.

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For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • repositories of knowledge
  • esteemed
  • insights
  • embedded
  • seeking advice
  • prioritizing
  • premium on innovation
  • dynamism
  • adaptability
  • technological advancements
  • entrepreneurs
  • pioneers
  • indispensable
  • stability
  • harmonious
  • progressive
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