In some place old age is valued, while in other cultures youth is considered more important. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
While
in certain regions, older people
is
considered more Change the verb form
are
value
than the young, many others say the opposite. It is Replace the word
valuable
this
writer
opinion that Change noun form
writer's
support
the benefits Verb problem
apply
from
Change preposition
of
youngster
are greater than the old because of Fix the agreement mistake
youngsters
the
capability and modern knowledge despite being inexperienced.
The most important factor Change the word
their
to judge
the role of a person is the ability Change preposition
in judging
contributing
to building Change the verb form
to contribute
the
society. The young Correct article usage
apply
age
has the advantage of strength and techniques which is essential to various of
sectors Change preposition
apply
such
as engineering. Take receptionist
Fix the agreement mistake
receptionists
for example
, people
nowadays prefer them to be active and energetic while
working, those are the characteristics that only the young have. Thus
the younger age
has the capability to achieve more works
for the community.
Another point worth mentioning is that the information that Fix the agreement mistake
work
adolescent
have is up-to-date and the technology Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
is
Verb problem
apply
also
provided
more value. Over the years, the information has been conducted and adjusted to benefit humanity, and the Wrong verb form
provides
principal
Correct your spelling
principle
to use
it changed. Change preposition
of using
Therefore
, the
young Correct article usage
apply
adult
Fix the agreement mistake
adults
is
more reliable for working with newly developed technology because they learn faster than Correct subject-verb agreement
are
the
old Correct article usage
apply
people
. For instant
, flying an aircraft has always been a challenge for all Replace the word
instance
age
, but pilots Fix the agreement mistake
ages
aging
from 30 to 40 are more likely to take the job because it is more complicated and demanding than Replace the word
aged
the
past. Change preposition
in the
Thus
, the role of adolescent
is more vital Add an article
the adolescent
an adolescent
due to
their adaptability.
However
, many cultures assume the
old Correct your spelling
that
people
hold
a significant number of Verb problem
have
experience
which no young adult has. Fix the agreement mistake
experiences
This
is true to some extent, but if they do not have the energy to do anything related to their enormous knowledge, the experience is not so helpful at all. Moreover
, skills from books and the internet shared by professionals may far
Add a missing verb
be far
useful
than the veterans’ and can be obtained by young Correct quantifier usage
more useful
people
.
In conclusion, old people
have the knowledge and experience much greater than the young, but the younger age
has the advantage of health and technology. Henceforth, adolescent
have a more valuable role in Fix the agreement mistake
adolescents
the
society.Correct article usage
apply
Submitted by zky1705202 on
Unauthorized use and/or duplication of this material without express and written permission from this site’s author and/or owner is strictly prohibited. Excerpts and links may be used, provided that full and clear credit is given to Writing9 with appropriate and specific direction to the original content.
task achievement
Consider thoroughly developing both views before stating your opinion, to ensure balanced discussion of the topic.
task achievement
Support your points with specific, real-world examples to strengthen your argument and make it more convincing.
coherence and cohesion
Enhance logical flow by using a wider range of linking words and phrases to connect your ideas more smoothly.
linguistic accuracy
Proofread your essay to correct grammatical mistakes and improve your range of vocabulary.
Support ideas with relevant, specific examples
Examples make your writing easier to understand by illustrating points more effectively.
Examples, if used properly, not only help you get higher marks for ‘Task Response’ but also for ‘Coherence’.
When giving examples it is best to put them after your main idea or topic sentence. They can be used in the middle of supporting sentences or they can be used to start a new sentence. There is no rule for where exactly to give examples in essays, logically they would come after your main idea/topic sentence or just after a supporting sentence.
Linking words for giving examples:
- for example
- for instance
- to illustrate this
- to give a clear example
- such as
- namely
- to illustrate
- take, for example