Some people believe that educational qualifications will always bring success in life. Other people say that educational qualifications do not necessarily bring success. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
It is often believed that educational qualifications matter for success but some
people
are pessimistic about Use synonyms
this
view. I partially agree with Linking Words
this
because of their advantage that allows Linking Words
people
to move to the next stage more easily in employment regardless of the change of a Use synonyms
society
where individual characters and Use synonyms
skills
are regarded as more important.
On the one hand, a higher educational background is more likely to lead to a successful life since job applicants can often skip a certain stage of evaluation to proceed to another. Use synonyms
In other words
, they can move to the final stage more easily than others with lower qualifications as it ensures the sufficient understanding and Linking Words
skills
needed for work. Use synonyms
For instance
, applicants with a certificate of grade 1 for the Eiken exam are not required to take written exams in applying for jobs as English teachers as it officially proves their language fluency and sophisticated intelligence. Linking Words
This
leads to a higher chance of employment, which provides them with a more stable income and respected status, making them satisfied with their lives.
Linking Words
On the other hand
, educational proof does not always promise success as companies tend to put more focus on personalities with more mixed Linking Words
skills
to survive in the modern competitive world. Indeed, individual Use synonyms
skills
Use synonyms
such
as interpersonal techniques, communication Linking Words
skills
and leadership are more valued than academic knowledge as Use synonyms
society
becomes more complicated and changing rapidly. Use synonyms
This
is the reason why companies conduct more interview tests today, from which employers can assess Linking Words
people
's flexibility Use synonyms
as well as
problem-solving Linking Words
skills
.Use synonyms
Therefore
, an educational background does not necessarily lead to a successful life Linking Words
due to
the altering demands of Linking Words
society
.
In conclusion, I somewhat agree that academic achievement is a significant factor for success as Use synonyms
people
are able to gain some privileges, which increase their chances of successful employment. Use synonyms
However
, its value declines since mixed personal Linking Words
skills
are more respected in current Use synonyms
society
.Use synonyms
Submitted by mizuho on
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coherence cohesion
To enhance clarity and readability, consider breaking the second paragraph into two smaller ones where you discuss different perspectives. This will make it easier for readers to follow your arguments.
task achievement
Avoid minor grammatical errors such as missing spaces between sentences and unnecessary repetition of words (e.g., "more easily" repeated twice in a close range).
task achievement
You can enhance the depth of your argument by adding a few more specific examples or data points to support your views. This will add to the credibility and richness of your discussion.
coherence cohesion
Ensure that each paragraph focuses on a single main idea; this will enhance coherence and the flow of your essay.
task achievement
The essay provides a balanced view by discussing both sides of the argument thoroughly.
coherence cohesion
The introduction and conclusion are clear and effectively summarize the key points of the essay.
task achievement
Specific and relevant examples are used to support the main points, particularly the example regarding the Eiken exam.