Some people say industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, while some believe it should be stopped due to environmental problem it creates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

#people #growth #poverty #believe

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Industrialisation

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is proven to be critical in addressing socio-economic

problem

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problems

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however

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, the environmental impact of it has sparked a debate with some arguing that it should be fully stopped

while

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others argued that it is necessary in order to continue alleviating

poverty

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While

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there are merits to both sides of the argument, I firmly believe that the benefits of

industrialisation

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outweigh the costs. First and foremost,

industrialisation

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is shown to be the most effective tool for resolving

poverty

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problems.

For example

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, a newly built factory in sub-urban Jakarta managed to absorb 1 million workers

that

Correct pronoun usage

who

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were previously unemployed.

While

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some argue that

poverty

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is better handled with social security policies,

such

Linking Words

interventions are not sustainable and do not have the capacity to enrich all poor

population

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populations

show examples

For example

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, the cash transfer program in Indonesia, accounting for 40% of the total government budget, can only help 5% of people living under the

poverty

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threshold

whereas

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building factories can employ significantly more poor households.

However

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, some believe that the benefits of

poverty

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reduction can not be fully justified

due to

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the environmental destruction caused by industrial policy.

For instance

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, the massive adoption of industrial policy in the 1900s is responsible for global warming and climate change.

Nonetheless

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, nowadays, industrial policy is often

coupled with

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environmental

consideration

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considerations

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to remove all

the

Change the word

its

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negative ecological effects

Change preposition

apply

show examples

Correct pronoun usage

apply

show examples

. To illustrate, it is now compulsory for a coal factory to use

higher quality

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higher-quality

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air filters to remove all the excess

pollutions

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pollution

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that it emits.

To conclude

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, nature can be endangered

due to

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the act of

industrialisation

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However

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, the positive sides of

industrialisation

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eclipse the disadvantages, causing a net positive effect

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show examples

the

Correct article usage

apply

show examples

society.

Lastly

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, the negative effects can

also

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be reduced with certain measurements.

Submitted by satimanb on Mon Feb 26 2024

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Task Response

Make sure your introduction directly addresses the question, clearly stating both views and your own stance. While your introduction touches on the key points, a more precise preview of the arguments to come can improve clarity.

Task Response

When developing paragraphs, ensure each one has a clear main idea supported by detailed examples or evidence. While your essay contains relevant examples, further detail or additional examples could strengthen your argument.

Coherence and Cohesion

For maximum coherence, use a variety of transition words and phrases to link your ideas both within and between paragraphs. While your essay demonstrates good usage, diversifying your transitional phrases can enhance readability.

Coherence and Cohesion

Every main point you introduce should be followed by adequate explanation and evidence. It seems you've covered this well, but remember that deepening your analysis with more nuanced insights can add value to your argument.

12
Linking words
meeting the goal of 7 or more
2
Word repetition
meeting the goal of 3 or fewer
11
Grammar mistakes
detected issues

0123456789.0505

Overall Band Score

Coherence and Cohesion: 4.0

Logical structure

Introduction & conclusion present

Supported main points

Accurate linking words

Variety in linking words

Lexical resource: 4.0

Varied vocabulary

Accurate spelling & word formation

Grammatical Range: 4.0

Mix of complex & simple sentences

Clear and correct grammar

Task Achievement: 7.0

Complete response

Clear & comprehensive ideas

Relevant & specific examples

Appropriate word count

4 paragraphs

288 words

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Some people say industrial growth is necessary to solve poverty, while some believe it should be stopped due to environmental problem it creates. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

in some countries, governments are encouraging industries and business to move to regional areas out side the big cities. Do the advantages of this trend outweigh the disadvantages?

Nowadays most green energy is becoming ever more prevalent in both developed and developing countries. Some argue they greatly reduce costs and are better for the environment, others believe they are a serious threat to energy security. Discuss both views and give your opinion.

Should wealthy nations be required to share their wealth among poorer nations by providing such things as food and education? Or is it the responsibility of the governments of poorer nations to look after their citizens themselves?

International tourism has brought enormous benefit to many places. At the same time, there is concern about its impact on local inhabitants and the environment. Do the disadvantages of international tourism outweigh the disadvantages?

The plans below show a harbour in 2000 and how it looks today. Summarise the information by selecting and reporting the main features, and make comparisons where relevant. Your report should comprise a minimum of 150 words.