In many countries, people increasingly talk about money such as how much they earn or how much they pay for things in their daily conversations. Why? Is this a positive or negative trend?

There is an increasing trend towards
people
repeatedly mentioning
money
-related topics in their mundane
conversation
Fix the agreement mistake
conversations
show examples
.
This
can be accounted for by many reasons and
this
trend,
to
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from
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my perspective, should not be encouraged.
To begin
with, the unexpected surge in bringing up
money
to their daily talk, regardless of whether it is a discussion or gossip, can be attributed to the importance of
money
in every individual's life and the social attitudes toward
money
. Regarding the former, as
society
operates
due to
the flow of
money
, the requirement to purchase any service or necessities,
which
Correct pronoun usage
apply
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dictate
Correct subject-verb agreement
dictates
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the living of themselves or their family.
Therefore
, many
people
put a high value on financial stability, and
this
indirectly manipulates their
mind
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minds
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to the obsession
of
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with
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money
everywhere and
everywhen
Correct your spelling
everywhere
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, and the result is they verbalize their mindset
to
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in
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conversations. Another worth-mentioning reason is the social prejudices,
due to
the fact that many
people
care about
money
, so the more
money
you earn, the more admiration you receive from your surroundings.
For instance
, when a celebrity appears on the street with a flashy outfit and items, everywhere he goes,
people
will look up at him and stare at the
jewelry
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jewellery
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he wears, and discuss how expensive it
would be
Wrong verb form
is
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.
However
, I personally feel that sharing
such
private information is inappropriate,
due to
the negative impact it has on
society
. The first reason is
this
trend will shift
society
to the materialistic lifestyle, and the impact would be the overlooking of essential characteristic qualities but perhaps, praising the superficial appearances, which can potentially lead to the undervalue and mistreatment toward the impoverished side. Discrimination should be acknowledged
also
,
for instance
, teenagers who are financially sick, unable to purchase decent clothes or have dirty
appearance
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appearances
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can be bombarded or threatened with humiliation. In conclusion, despite the fact that developing
society
means that everybody should dedicate more
for
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to
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financial freedom, for their sake of living, it does not necessarily cohere with
the
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apply
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materialism and judging lifestyle, with conversations as the popular form
due to
the negative impact it brings. Fostering discrimination
to occur
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apply
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, creating distance and layering the community, all
of
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apply
show examples
these
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apply
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will raise a concern that justice will vanish and inequalities become prevalent and in the long run, prevent the
society
to harmonize
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from harmonizing
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and
create
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creating
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sustainable development, which is an ultimate goal that we should aim to.
Submitted by tk ôn ielts writing on

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task achievement
To enhance 'Task Achievement', ensure each paragraph fully answers all parts of the question, providing clear and comprehensive ideas supported by specific examples from real-life or hypothetical scenarios for stronger argumentation. While your essay touches on why people discuss money matters and its effects, deepening the analysis with more specific illustrations could make your arguments more persuasive.
coherence cohesion
Work on 'Coherence and Cohesion' by improving the transition between ideas. Using a wider range of linking words and phrases can help further organize the essay and guide the reader through your arguments more fluidly. While your essay shows a good attempt at organizing ideas, better transitions and paragraphing could significantly enhance clarity and flow.

Word Count

IELTS says that you should write a minimum of 250 words in writing task 2. If you go under word count you will lose marks in task response.

A very long essay will not give you a higher band score.

Aim for between 260 to 290 words in writing task 2. This will ensure a concise essay and will be realistic in terms of time management. You have only 40 minutes to write the essay and you need around 10 minutes of planning time, so you will not be able to write a long essay in 30 minutes.

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Essentional vocabulary list for IELTS Writing 7+

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Topic Vocabulary:
  • consumerism
  • materialism
  • financial transparency
  • societal taboos
  • economic fluctuations
  • financial management
  • financial literacy
  • purchasing decisions
  • wealth glorification
  • economic stratification
  • social comparison
  • peer pressure
  • income disparity
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