Some people think scientific research should focus on solving world health problems. Others think that there are more important issues. Discuss both views and give your opinion.
There is an ongoing debate on whether scientific
research
should focus on solving global health
problems
, or spend the budget on other important issues
. As I believe the ultimate goal of scientific research
is to provide enhancements to human welfare, I think solving both world health
and other issues
are
equally as important, and neither of which should be prioritized over the other.
On the one hand, solving world Correct subject-verb agreement
is
health
problems
is crucial to our existence as a species. In the past, there are
many diseases that Wrong verb form
were
affects
hundreds of millions of people, namely the plague or Wrong verb form
affected
the
smallpox, the latter of which has been entirely eradicated Change the article
apply
while
very few people catch the plague nowadays, thanks to the extensive research
into developing vaccines and preventative measures. Focusing on addressing global health
issues
can provide a boost to finding a cure many
critical diseases, Change preposition
for many
such
as cancer, diabetes or malaria, which in turn can save countless lives. One prime case in point is the disease COVID-19 which has greatly disrupted everyone globally because of lockdowns, to developing a vaccine two years later and everything is now back to normal.
On the other hand
, putting an emphasis on solving world health
issues
can lead to neglection of other problems
that are as equally as important. Regarding environmental problems
, if these are not put into proper considerations
, they can Fix the agreement mistake
consideration
also
pose a threat to our physical and mental well-being. If more scientific research
are
carried out to find solutions to pollution, global warming or loss of diversity, there could possibly be fewer people at risk of contracting diseases in the first place. Change the verb form
is
Additionally
, research
into economic issues
could help the impoverished have better shelters to stay in and enjoy a better life.
In conclusion, while
health
problems
can pose a great threat to the
Correct article usage
apply
human's
Change noun form
human
health
, other issues
are not to be disregarded, as they too can greatly affect our daily lives. Governments should allocate budgets to prioritize carrying out research
in an extensive field of research
to ensure adequate treatment to
all Change preposition
of
problems
.Submitted by lmaoayyxdd on
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Coherence & Cohesion
Make sure your essay has a clear and consistent structure throughout. This involves not only having an introduction and conclusion but also making sure that each body paragraph has a clear main idea that is expanded upon with examples or explanations.
Coherence & Cohesion
Use a range of cohesive devices appropriately but avoid overuse. Devices such as 'on the one hand', 'on the other hand', and 'in conclusion' are used effectively in your essay. However, ensure that these are not overused and that variety is present in your linking devices for a smoother flow of ideas.
Task Achievement
For Task Response, ensure that you address all parts of the task. It's good that you have discussed both views and provided your own opinion. To improve, make your opinion stand out more clearly by dedicating a specific paragraph to it or by making explicit references to it throughout the essay.
Task Achievement
Enhance the specificity and relevance of your examples. While you have provided examples, make them more detailed and directly linked to the points you are making. This will strengthen your arguments and make your essay more persuasive.
Use cohesive linking words accurately and appropriately
Linking words are very important in your essay.
To score effectively on your IELTS exam, you should make an effort to implement short concise sentences coupled with linking words.
Almost every sentence in your essay should have a linking word of some sort.
In fact, the only sentences that can omit linking words are your background sentence and thesis.
Linking word examples:
- firstly
- secondly
- thirdly
- in additional
- moreover
- also
- for example
- for instance
- therefore
- however
- although
- even though
- despite