IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

If some people get a chance to choose between life without work in spending most of the time working, then they would choose not to work. Do you agree or disagree?

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In today's world, if any group get two options, first of them is , to live
life
Use synonyms
 without doing job and another one is that, to use most of the time for working.
Then
Linking Words
, they will only go for 1st one. I am completely convinced with
these Statement
Change the determiner
this Statement
these statements
show examples
. In
further
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 paragraphs, I will mention some of the
reason
Fix the agreement mistake
reasons
show examples
 for these. A good reason to support the point that
people
Use synonyms
 often choose
life
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 without
work
Use synonyms
 is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 citizens can explore several new things in which they are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
. To elaborate,
people
Use synonyms
 can enjoy and experience new things during their
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
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 in which they are
intrested
Correct your spelling
interested
,
instead
Linking Words
off
Change preposition
of
show examples
 doing jobs.
Moreover
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, they can fruitful their own wishes. Another reason worth mentioning is that
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 being
employeed
Correct your spelling
employed
 is more stressful. Explaining it in simple terms, the superior of any employee provides constant
hardwork
Correct your spelling
hard work
 and projects to them. Which elevates the stress level of employees.
Moreover
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, juniors are not getting leaves easily by
top level
Add a hyphen
top-level
show examples
memagement
Correct your spelling
management
. As a
results
Correct the article-noun agreement
result
show examples
,
people
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 live better and strarless
Use synonyms
life
Fix the agreement mistake
lives
show examples
 without employment. It
also
Linking Words
 improves the
merital
Correct your spelling
medical
 status of
people
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.
Finally
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, an
individerel
Correct your spelling
individual
creat
Correct your spelling
create
show examples
 plenty of sweet memories with their family members. To be more precise,
person
Correct article usage
a person
show examples
 can spend
qualitative
Correct article usage
a qualitative
show examples
 span with their elders, parents,
well wishers
Add a hyphen
well-wishers
show examples
, and friends.
For example
Linking Words
, they can plan for several trips alone or together at any point
of
Change preposition
in
show examples
 time freely.
In addition
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, some
people
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 are too
lazzy
Correct your spelling
lazy
 to
do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
performe
Correct your spelling
perform
work
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 beyond
rules
Correct article usage
the rules
show examples
 and regulations of
office
Correct article usage
the office
show examples
.
Consequently
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, they
prefers
Change the verb form
prefer
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do
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
not to
work
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 and do only enjoyment in their
life
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 without any restrictions.
To conclude
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, it is
Undeniable
Fix capitalization
undeniable
show examples
 that almost all
the
Correct article usage
apply
show examples
human beings would go for not to be employed in their
life
Use synonyms
due to
Linking Words
Correct article usage
the streesful
show examples
streesful
Correct your spelling
stressful
life
Use synonyms
 of an employee,
life
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 with freedom and even explore more things in which
population
Correct article usage
the population
show examples
 have keen interest without performing
work
Use synonyms
.

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coherence cohesion
Ensure a clear structure with a distinct introduction, body, and conclusion. Your essay possesses these elements, yet further refinement in transitioning and paragraphing can enhance readability.
coherence cohesion
To strengthen your essay, focus on diversifying your sentence structures and utilizing cohesive devices more effectively. This will foster a smoother flow of ideas.
task achievement
While you've addressed the task, deepening your argument with more varied and specific examples can significantly bolster your response. Doing so will not only demonstrate an understanding of the topic but also showcase your ability to explore it from multiple angles.
task achievement
Clarify and expand your main points in each paragraph. Aim for a balance between explaining your reasons and illustrating them with examples or personal experiences to make your essay more persuasive and comprehensive.

Fully explain your ideas

To get an excellent score in the IELTS Task 2 writing section, one of the easiest and most effective tips is structuring your writing in the most solid format. A great argument essay structure may be divided to four paragraphs, in which comprises of four sentences (excluding the conclusion paragraph, which comprises of three sentences).

For we to consider an essay structure a great one, it should be looking like this:

  • Paragraph 1 - Introduction
    • Sentence 1 - Background statement
    • Sentence 2 - Detailed background statement
    • Sentence 3 - Thesis
    • Sentence 4 - Outline sentence
  • Paragraph 2 - First supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 3 - Second supporting paragraph
    • Sentence 1 - Topic sentence
    • Sentence 2 - Example
    • Sentence 3 - Discussion
    • Sentence 4 - Conclusion
  • Paragraph 4 - Conclusion
    • Sentence 1 - Summary
    • Sentence 2 - Restatement of thesis
    • Sentence 3 - Prediction or recommendation

Our recommended essay structure above comprises of fifteen (15) sentences, which will make your essay approximately 250 to 275 words.

Discover more tips in The Ultimate Guide to Get a Target Band Score of 7+ »— a book that's free for 🚀 Premium users.

Topic Vocabulary:
  • constraints of employment
  • immerse
  • personal fulfillment
  • enhanced relationships
  • work-related stress
  • professional achievements
  • financial insecurity
  • societal backlash
  • cultural expectations
  • identity and worth
What to do next:
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