IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 5

A museum near your home is looking for people to do part-time voluntary/unpaid work. You would like to do some voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Write a letter to the museum director to apply for the voluntary/unpaid work. In your letter Explain why you want to voluntary/unpaid work at the museum. Describe some skills and qualities you have that would be useful. Give details of when you would be available for work.

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Dear Sir or Madam I hope you are doing well. My name is Pulat and at present, I am
studiying
Correct your spelling
studying
 at the university. I am writing in response to an advertisement
wich
Correct your spelling
which
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 was placed
in
Change preposition
apply
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near my university. Let me explain why I want to do voluntary work at
museum
Add an article
the museum
a museum
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.
Firstly
Linking Words
, I am
exited
Correct your spelling
excited
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 to have the opportunity to be able to work with a reputable museum like yours. I am a young student and I want to cover my costs, so please accept
this
Linking Words
 letter as an expression of my interest in the position of
part time
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part-time
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 employee.
Furthermore
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, the museum is close to my home. I want to mention about my skills and qualities
also
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.
For
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example
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example,
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 I am a
hard working
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hard-working
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 person and I always did well at school. History was my favorite subject and that's why I have a really good knowledge of our past.
In
Linking Words
addition
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addition,
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 I am a student
of
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at
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international
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an international
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 university, so I can easily speak
in
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apply
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three languages, English, Russian and Uzbek languages. I feel I am the most suitable candidate for
this
Linking Words
 job because of my ambition. I am applying for part-time
employee
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employment
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, so I can only work on weekends. Thank you for taking
time
Correct article usage
the time
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 to read through my application and please contact me at any time should you wish to arrange a meeting.
Your
Correct the word
Yours
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 faithfully Pulat

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Task Achievement
Clarify the purpose of your letter more explicitly by stating your intention to volunteer upfront rather than halfway through the letter. This will help maintain focus and clarity throughout.
Task Achievement
Correct the initial misunderstanding of the task as a paid position when it's explicitly for voluntary/unpaid work. This adjustment is crucial for accurately fulfilling the task requirements.
Coherence and Cohesion
Improve the logical structure by organizing your ideas more logically. Start by explicitly stating your interest in the voluntary position, followed by your reasons, skills, and availability in separate, well-defined paragraphs.
Coherence and Cohesion
Ensure a suitable greeting and closing, taking into account the formal nature of the letter. While 'Dear Sir or Madam' is appropriate, considering ending with 'Yours sincerely' if the recipient's name is unknown, as 'faithfully' is commonly used with known names.
Coherence and Cohesion
Provide more specific examples of your skills and how they directly relate to the tasks you might be undertaking at the museum, to enhance both coherence and the persuasive quality of your letter.
Topic Vocabulary:
  • Enthusiastic
  • Volunteer
  • Part-time
  • Unpaid work
  • Museum director
  • Skills and qualities
  • Customer service
  • Organization
  • Team player
  • Flexible
  • Reliable
  • Positive attitude
  • Availability
  • Professional goals
  • Community contribution
  • References
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