IELTS Writing Correction Service
Writing Samples
Band 6.5

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.

The chart below gives information about how families in one country spent their weekly income in 1968 and in 2018. Summarize the information by selecting and reporting the main features and make comparisons where relevant.
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The bar chart compares how families in one country spent their
money
Use synonyms
 in two
years
Use synonyms
 1968 and 2018 which are
fifty
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 apart.
Overall
Linking Words
, the most
money
Use synonyms
 had been spent on Food back to 1968. Weekly income which was spent on Household goods remained the same amount during these 50
years
Use synonyms
. As mentioned, the most weekly income which was 35
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
, was
being
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
spent on Food back
to
Change preposition
in
show examples
 1968,
while
Linking Words
,
fifty
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
 later,
this
Linking Words
 amount halved in 2018. Income which was being spent on Housing was 10
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 1968
while
Linking Words
 it doubled 50
years
Use synonyms
 later. Fuel and power was the lowest proportion in both 1968 and 2018.
According to
Linking Words
 the bar chart, the
money
Use synonyms
 which was being spent on Clothing and
footware
Correct your spelling
footwear
,
Remove the comma
apply
show examples
 was
one tenth
Add a hyphen
one-tenth
show examples
 of the total in 1968 and it halved to 5
percent
Change the spelling
per cent
show examples
 in 2018. Household goods remained the same proportion in these
fifty
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
. The most
money
Use synonyms
 in 2018 was spent on Leisure. Transport
was
Unnecessary verb
apply
show examples
also
Linking Words
 rose after
fifty
Use synonyms
years
Use synonyms
.

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Linking words: Don't use the same linking words: "while".
▼
Vocabulary: Replace the words money, years, fifty with synonyms.
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Vocabulary: Only 5 basic words for charts were used.
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Vocabulary: The word "chart" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "amount" was used 2 times.
▼
Vocabulary: The word "proportion" was used 2 times.
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Vocabulary: The word "remained" was used 2 times.
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Topic Vocabulary:
  • expenditure patterns
  • proportion
  • weekly income
  • accounted for
  • total expenditure
  • housing and utility expenses
  • transportation costs
  • other expenses
  • education
  • healthcare
  • leisure activities
  • spending patterns
  • witnessed a considerable rise
  • experienced a substantial increase
  • allocating a larger proportion
  • reducing their expenditure
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